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Snippet of Unlocking Us: Dr. Marc Brackett and Brené on “Permission to Feel”

From Audio: Dr. Marc Brackett and Brené on “Permission to Feel”

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Duration: 07:37
Dr. Marc Brackett has dedicated his life to studying emotions and teaching us what he’s learning. In this snippet, Brené interviews Marc about the five areas of human life where feelings "matter the most." Hear Marc relate some startling examples and experiences to highlight these five areas.
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Dr. Marc Brackett has dedicated his life to studying emotions and teaching us what he’s learning. Brené and Marc talk about how emotional literacy - being able to recognize, name, and understand our feelings - affects everything from learning, decision making, and creativity, to relationships, health, and performance. In this snippet, Brené interviews Marc about the five areas of human life where feelings "matter the most." Hear Marc relate some startling examples and experiences to highlight these five areas.
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make the case to me. Why not That I need it. P s but make because I am so on board. I am behind you paddling. I appreciate that. Make the case. Why? Understanding emotion matters. Well, that's, you know, that's my call. When I do my presentations, I call that slide my money slide because for anybody who is a neigh Sayer, you know, I just say you just don't know the research because once you understand the data and the science behind this, there's no way that you won't want to take this seriously. So the first is that emotions matter for attentional capacity. I mean, let's be, you know, I'm gonna be honest with you. I was ah, cnd student in elementary school. And, you know, with all modesty aside, you know, I'm a pretty smart guy, but I couldn't function academically. I mean, think about it when you're feeling nervous. And I was bullied Horrific. Lee, I had parents who had troubles, so I was being abused. So I really want to learn about the Roman oligarchy. Um, I really gonna be to focus and concentrate. I mean, let's get real, right? I just want friendships I want love. I want safety. I wanna get home without being bullied and hurt. So we know that our emotion system is inextricably linked with our cognitive system in our attention. The second is decision making. I mean, think about it. You know, we like to think we're rational creatures. Here's an example. In a study we did with teachers, we randomly assigned them to be in a good mood or a bad mood. It's pretty easy. Take five minutes and think about a good day. Take five minutes and think about a bad day. And then we had them grade the exact same paper. Lo and behold, 12 to 4 grades Difference. When we asked the teachers, Do you believe that how you felt and any influence over the way you evaluated that s a 90% said no. So think about that. Their emotions clearly shifted the way they viewed the same content. But we want to be powerful. We don't want to believe it because we don't wanna. That means we have no control. You know, that means there is no free will. The third is relationships. I like to say in the simplest form emotions are signals to approach or avoid. So my facial expression, your facial expression, other people's how we feel on the inside sends messages. Approach avoid. You ever worked with someone who is like that disgruntled character? Think about that person. Do you say to yourself, Gosh, I'd like to work with them for the rest of my life. No, you're like, I'll do it. I'll go down this hallway. I'll do anything to avoid them. The fourth has to do with our physical and mental health. Here's an example in our work with educators, what we found is the following. The culture and climate of their school was highly correlated with their anxiety, their stress, their negative feelings, which also was correlated with their mental health problems with their sleep troubles and their body mass index. So think about that. This is how our emotion system in our environment are all linked together and connected to our physical and mental health. There's no question, I mean, God, it just makes sense to May. Yeah, And then there's this vicious cycle because cortisol insulin levels change. I want the fatty foods and I want immediate gratification, and then it just loops and loops and loops. Did I'm in shame for having eaten that completely. I speak from just research, not from personal experience. And then you go Me, too. And then the final one we call performance and creativity. You know, one thing that people often say is like, you know, your cognition. You know, my students, for example, here at you know where I work often say to me things When I teach my class, I said, You know, Professor Bracket, I didn't need emotional intelligence to get into Yale. And I said, Well, you're gonna need it to get out and because no one's going to hire someone, right? Let has that kind of attitude. And of course, many of my students are fabulous. Most of them are. But they didn't have an emotion education, you know, they went to good schools and they got in because there s a T scores and their grade point averages. But the truth is, you know, when you go to the real world, I can CEOs that I work with. They say things like, we can't stand these Ivy League graduates there, so entitled and they you know, they don't work well in teams, and they just think they know everything. You know, we want people who are flexible, people who, you know are inspiring the skills that we never teach. So I think that we need to rethink education to make sure that a our educators air taught emotion, science and be our kids get these skills from preschool until whenever God, I just It's so the microphones working. I just have no words because I I spend so much time working with leaders of these Fortune 100 companies, and 60% of the work they have to dio is social, emotional learning. People are coming with skills, people can code. People can think about financial strategy, but people lose their shit meetings. People don't know how to talk to one another. People avoid hard conversations because they don't know that Awkward is okay to feel. It's incredible that What is it going to take? Do you think to make this case you know it's going to take all the students who are going through this training now to become the next generation of leaders? I have faith that adults can learn the skills and I've demonstrated that. But the mindset of adults. You know, this is an example. So I gave a talk at a in one of our big departments here. I won't name it right now. At the end of my presentation, one of the senior professors stood up and you looked at me and he goes, What happened to Yale? E said, And I'm a bit of a self sabotage. So I said, you know, tell me more And he goes, Mark, this is Yale. We produced Nobel Laureates, not nice people. And I was like, Okay, and then I you know, I can facilitate a group and I said, Does anyone else have a different perspective? Lo and behold, another professor stands up and looks, I mean, he goes, Here's what I learned, Mark. Sometimes you just have to be a blank because then the people who work for you just shut up and do what you tell them to. Dio and I looked at the chair of this whole school and I said, like, are we making a movie here? What was going e don't know what is happening, and I thought the chair of this department was just gonna cry. I mean, he was so embarrassed and he looked and he goes, Why do you think I asked you to come in? And so you know, we have a lot of work to dio, you know, to get people to be on that. You know, emotions matter bus, and that's why I do the science. And that's why you do your work. And, you know, I'm going to keep going until I get everyone to understand that data and to understand that our cognitive abilities matter. But how we deal with life, You know, I always say things like so many of our Children don't reach their fullest potential because they can't deal with the feedback they get. They can't deal, you know, with the disappointment of frustration, the anxiety around the content. It's not that their ability to be creative, it's that when they fail at being creative, and when they get harsh feedback, they can't deal with the feelings around it. And they give up not because of their ability but because of their inability to deal with their feelings. You know, I have to say, I was thinking about this and prepped for our conversation, and I have never met a truly
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