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304: Polar Highlight

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station description An improvised dark comedy sci-fi podcast by the award-winning creators of Alba Sali... read more
Civilized
Duration: 08:42
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Gentlemen, I need to talk to you. I am experiencing some severe anxiety lately, you know, we've been rebuilding the base and there's been a lot of arguing about what goes where and I'm hearing voices, but we could just pass over that. So I figured I needed a day to appreciate me. And I recognize that I need to ask for help when I need it. So I want a spa day. I hope you enjoy yourself. No, I don't think you understand. Um, Al is there a vacant room where I can lay out a table thinking, massage and a shampoo? Their rooms everywhere that have large open pipes and steam shooting out of them. Perfect. And follow me. Wait, We're coming. You today are going to do everything for me. I've decided it's Beatrix's Day. I want Bob Thio. Get the water nice and warm. I'm making common noises. Bartholomew, you're going to put the shampoo in my hair. We're gonna have that. We're gonna have a wash because I need a moment to relax. Are we Spot attendance now? From the look on her face, I'd say we are Bartholomew. I really want the spot experience so I prefer if you used to, you know, a classy shampoo. So we're gonna go with function of beauty today. Function of beauty. It is especially formula ized shampoo and conditioner. That is meant just for me. Because I did a quiz and it told me all the things that I need to make my hair perfect. Is this it? Here, it's It's purple. Yes, it's my favorite color. Oh, has your name on it, huh? That means it's mine and no one else can touch it. E hit down. The water is ready. And I've made a makeshift table out of the dining room table so you could sort of way here and drape your head over the edge. By the way, I should just let you know this is vegan and cruelty free, which is wonderful. And it's making me relax. Just wash my hair, Barbara. Let me put your hands in my hair. Like like that? Yeah, I've cut some cucumbers to put over your eyes. Yeah, this is helping. Giving the lights for you. Thank you. Al Smells so good. Is that peach? That's the fan favorite. I can see why it's got over 40,005 star reviews Just asking, you know, for some, hypothetically, for someone else. But if if someone wanted to, you know, get their own buttle of functional beauty, how did they do that? Well, you could just goto function of beauty dot com slash civilized and you can actually get it right now for 20% off. And you could take a quiz that will tell you exactly what your hair care needs are because they've got 54 trillion possible ingredients combinations to make sure your formula it's as unique as you. Now back to my hair. This is about me, right? Right. Humanity's last hope to find and settle in New World. A small, terra forming fleet sets out to prepare a lifeless planet for the colony ships Sure to follow in their wake. Okay? Yeah, civilized. I want to come to this isn't fair. I'm 13 now. I'm older. Alberta. We have talked about this. I'm not willing to send out one of our Onley tech people into the fields. One second director party gets to go. I wanna go to I packed a big coat and I also packed a very light coat because I'm unsure of the terrain. I'm less concerned if we lose Dr Bridges. Really? That's your point. Not that I'm not 13. That I'm a okay. It's all part of it. Why? Why do we have to have this conversation in my ready room? Because you guys were ready to go. I'm also ready to go. We're already so let's go. We are not ready. If you think you are coming on this mission Alberta, I'm ahead of all of my projects. And I think it's only fair and bar. You taught me how to automate things. I will say that Alberta is ahead on all deadlines and deliverables. I'm not condoning that. We should send a 13 year old out on an expedition. I'm just I'm just gonna sit at my desk now. Alberta Director brasses. Right. You shouldn't be coming along with us. Thank you, Dr Bridges. I think you should take that extra warm polar coat of yours. Go put it back in the equipment area on the back of the fully loaded rover. That's about to go out on the expedition. Exactly. Thank you, Dr Bridges. Just put your coat there, though. Like, don't Don't try to sneak on or anything. Don't try that. I wouldn't do that. So no one kick or punch Any lumps of coats? All right. So far, so good. So far, so good. This is the farthest we've all been from the base. Everything's fine. Are we there yet? Oh, my God. Yes, I came Alberta. It was a trick, Albert. I wanted to come so bad. This is so exciting. We're exploring the farthest reaches that we've ever been on this planet, and I don't get to see it. You went against a direct order, Alberta. I'm I'm shocked, and I am chagrined. Okay? I'm starting to get the sense That was all sarcasm. No, no, I'm shocked. I'm chagrined. Look at me. Shock chagrin all over my face, all in my tone dripping down my body. He does have a big chagrin, huh? But that doesn't mean I'm not chagrin just because I like your joke. But listen, Alberta's here now. Maybe it will be good for him to get some field experience. How am I supposed to feel that both of you are so okay with just going against anything that I say anything that I say? What is it about my my leadership that threatens you so much that you feel like you just have to go against everything I say. Couldn't we interpret it as I have such faith in your security ability that I know Alberta and myself are going to get back? Okay. Why? No. Okay. Oh, what a lovely morning. Oh, just director. Come in, Director. It was gonna be a lovely Martin should Mute yourself if you don't want to hear your inner comments, Director. Damn this whole thing. Uh, it Zago for Director Tinsley. Director Tits Lee. I'm not sure if you're aware, but there was a conspiracy between Dr Bridges and our lead tech Alberta Thio Get him secretly on the back of the rover and for some reason, undermine my authority yet again. Because the two of them being think of thieves decide all the time that they know best. And that, of course, you know, Director Bridges is gonna do anything about it. Well, I'm tired. I don't know what to do. I just need your advice. I'm so frustrated at this point. Oh, also. Good morning. Oh, good. Good morning, Miss Press. Um, well, my advice. Well, you Really? You haven't really come to me for advice Very much. I appreciate, you know, looking for mentorship in a time of crisis like this. A time when you're alone against the wilderness of a strange planet. Um, well, I m a t this point. You have two choices. You could, um, continue on your mission, or you could abort. Waste all that fuel. Who's the time and return to base. That will put us behind by days. Yes. Not to mention my sanity. Your sanity. Um Oh, I'm so sorry. Uh, Miss Brass, but my eggs are ready. I'm sure you have this perfect under control here if you need me for anything, You didn't give me any e.
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