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station description Topics don't stand a chance!
Topic Lords
Duration: 54:57
Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:


Jenni is reachable at jenni@jennipolodna.com.
Chris is making cooking videos at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRsnCRAIi-VsRPPX4AtzVGQ/


Topics:


2:42 Suddenly Anxiety and OCD are culturally adaptive behaviors.
8:16 Opening
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Full Description
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Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:


Jenni is reachable at jenni@jennipolodna.com.
Chris is making cooking videos at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRsnCRAIi-VsRPPX4AtzVGQ/


Topics:


2:42 Suddenly Anxiety and OCD are culturally adaptive behaviors.
8:16 Opening negotiations with your real-life employer to get them to pay you in Nook Miles
13:44 Animal Crossing speed runs


Animal Crossing 100% in 19h25m. https://www.speedrun.com/ac/run/y21ejk7z
Animal Crossing New Horizons All Debts in 1h52m. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdH-pj1ZUac
Super Mario Sunshine Lockout Bingo at AGDQ 2019 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch3eSzem1v4
Animal Crossing Lockout Bingo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hhgu-fObME

20:23 Gary asks: "Printing Toilet Paper at Home"


How to make paper out of blue jeans. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPdZPvMVMZk
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chank_Diesel

26:54 Owning 5.25" floppies & suddenly having to be aware of magnets again as a threat in your life


Masquerade. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masquerade_%28book%29
France's 25-year treasure hunt for a golden owl. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-45005072

32:20 Apocalypse gardening and warlord potential
37:52 Amazon took Murder She Wrote away from us
47:07 Winding up with more social obligations than you had before quarantine


Microtopics:


Being confident in your recording setup because you're too lazy to verify it.
The old lady who lives in your ductwork who you can't hear because she only shrieks exactly when you're talking.
Finding out about the apocalypse from a podcast recorded months ago.
The subtle distinction between self care and overeating.
Feeling better about your anxiety disorder because the world has gotten worse to meet your mood.
A behavior that looks maladaptive but must secretly be awesome because it has survived for millennia.
A poltergeist that keeps turning your stove off.
Worshipping gods that turn out to be evil aliens.
Trying to make "Christian Splinter Faiths" scan to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme.
Going for the cosmetic upgrade before the inventory upgrade and causing your partner physical pain.
Clearcutting the entire island you're visiting because when you leave it will cease to exist.
Harvesting trees in a checkerboard pattern because they grow better that way.
A financial startup specializing in converting British pounds to Nook miles.
Putting pounds and dollars in the same bank account and they crossbreed while they're in there.
100%-ing Animal Crossing as fast as possible.
Speed runs that are entertaining to describe but not to watch.
Bingo races as the improvisation-heavy antidote to rote speed runs.
Forcing Caleb Hart to livestream Mega Man X any time anyone listens to this episode.
Feeding toilet paper into your inkjet printer to create a cool pattern to wipe your ass with.
Using Silly Putty to copy the stock market info from the newspaper.
Not being able to print toilet paper with your 3D printer, but printing a bidet instead.
Running out of toilet paper and 3D printing corn husks.
Buying the Taco Bell Grande Meal to eat the beans out of the burrito and then wiping your ass with the corn tortilla and wax paper wrapper.
Skipping a step and putting the burrito right in the toilet.
Introducing an awesome person to your friend and then ruining them in the very next sentence.
The outside of the printer paper protecting you from the horrifying inside of the toilet paper.
Pulping spare blue jeans to manufacture your own artisanal toilet paper.
Figuring out how to put your front yard in your back yard to hide it from the HOA.
Reporting your neighbor to the
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