about your, I don't know, we would call. The never ending quest of Solares is bisexuality, perhaps? Yeah. I mean, I identify more as Pan sexual now, at this point, when I first uh, kind of came into the community and was learning about, you know, the different types of sexualities that people could have, um, Pan sexual was the one that resonated the most with me because for me, it's kind of about the person, not necessarily what's in the external packaging. Um, but at the same time, I also am the type of dominant that doesn't like connection with the bottom. So of course I I'm attracted Thio, you know, pretty people. And you know, people that just have these really cool personalities and it never really mattered what was on the outside except for the fact that when I looked back into my younger years, I've always been attracted to women. Women were the first images that I saw that I was attracted Thio I never really was super attracted to male photos. It was always women. I loved women. I can't blame you Just can't blame you on that. They're pretty. They're nasty. Look at They're really nice to look at. And over time I've wanted to play with women. I've had the opportunity to play with several women, but I've never really been in any sort of long term play partnership or relationship with a woman. I happened to marry a man whose queer Andi also paying sexual. So that makes a little bit easier. Also, polyamorous, Which makes you know my quest, my never ending quest easier. Um, but it's been a journey. So now what? What is interesting about this? Everything that you're talking about is like Okay, Okay, I I get that, and I understand that. But the reality is, is you still have yet to have sex with a woman? Correct. Yeah. So this has been How long has this? So this has been your fantasy? Oh, are part of your fantasy life since you were very young, you've had many, many opportunities, your many opportunities. That's the thing is did I allow for the space for the opportunities toe happen? Was I naive? What were girls picking up on me and I was naive when I was first in the lifestyle. Alright. I haven't actually felt like I've had a lot of opportunity. Um, quite frankly, people lovingly um, call me the Queen. I can seem very strict if I'm just sitting down. I guess I have resting bitch face. Um, I can seem very cold, very off putting as a person. Um, which people? They get scared until they get to know me because that's not really who I am as a person. I'm kind of goofy, but I guess just my presence in general has caused people to not try to interact with me. And I do think that that has something to do with the fact that the that is one of the reasons why I have not found long term play partnerships on my own with women. Now. I've been set up several times for play with women in the lifestyle, and it's been fantastic has been phenomenal. It's a It's a different type of energy than playing with a a male identifying bottom. But you haven't. You haven't committed sexually with a woman, and I know I'm obsessing about the sexual, but there's a point to that. So you've had you've had play scenes with lots of women or or a number of women there is a possibility that they wanted you, but you didn't. You didn't pick up on the cues if there were queues there. And now you're at this place, which is interesting to me, because knowing you as the dominance from my kind of ignorant point of view, I'd be like, Well, just go ask someone, toe play with your pussy, you know, because you're you're the dumb. But it's not always how that works. It's not always it's not always like, Oh, because I'm dominant. That means I'm going to automatically be the predator. That's the thing is, in terms of starting relationships. Over many years, I have become even more shy than I was in the beginning. Um, I was the girl in high school who crushed on the nerds and told them that I had crushes on them and then had my heart broken because nobody liked me. Um and so I was the person that was slightly different, like literally everybody. Literally. Everybody was different when they, you know, everybody has had rejection and stuff like that. It just hit me very hard when I was young. Um, I also was in an abusive relationship for about 3.5 years between the age of 16 and, like, 19, So that does something to you and it One of the reasons why I entered the lifestyle in the first place and that I was drawn to it because I wasn't an individual that ever knew about it or thought about it when I was young, Um, I was exposed to it at the age of 21 going to club dungeon. Um, the reason why I was so attracted to it was that I could be the one that could be in control after coming out of this abusive relationship where I was not the one that was in control. And, um, I could be the one to dictate every single thing that could happen. And I didn't have to let anything happen to me, right? And when when you have sexual relationships with people, a lot of times they want, you know, the reciprocation they want to be able to do to you what you do to them, and I just have never really been in a place where that's been okay. I've had disabilities, as you know, I mean, we talked about on your show off and on pretty bad for several years. That caused me to lose a lot of weight and a lot of muscle mass and just feel like crap all the time. And so when you're not feeling super sexy about yourself, it's kind of hard to go off and try and find somebody.