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Audio of The Jack Benny Program Audio: Renting Eddie Cantor's House | Jack Benny Show: Episodes from 1942-1943 | Audio

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station description The Jack Benny Program aired from May 2, 1932 until June 22, 1958. The show was ide... read more
Jack Benny Show: Episodes from 1942-1943 | Old Time Radio Show | Audio
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Duration: 29:25
In this episode of The Jack Benny Program, listen as Jack tries to rent Eddie's house in Palm Springs.
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In this episode of The Jack Benny Program, listen as Jack runs into Eddie Cantor while at the Brown Derby. Later, Jack attempts to rent Eddie's house in Palm Springs.

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tonight. Friends. I'm going to talk about flying food, fine breakfast, fine flavour and nourishment. And I'm not going to talk about racial food. How do I do it easily? Good people Easily. I talk about crisp toast. EBrown, Grape nuts, flakes. They're mighty swell eating. Yes, Grape nuts Flakes or tops for taste appeal. They have such a Molly Rich goodness. Such an outstanding distinctive flavor at grand grape nuts flavor in tongue easing, toasty flake form. And here's news for you. Homemakers on the Threat Chip You can buy as many as you need of those big 12 ounce economy sized packages of grape nuts flakes without spending a single precious rations stamp. Delicious nutritious grape nuts flakes are not rations asked for Grape Nuts Flakes, America's fastest growing breakfast cereal, the role played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who lost $50 on Rochester's horse in the Kentucky Derby yesterday and took it like a man. It says here many. Hey, you! Thank you, Thank you all again. This is Jack, Benny, the gambler talking and Don, I'll admit that I was a little disappointed when Rochester's horse came in last. But what really gets me is that I lost $50 and the whole race was over in two minutes. What they've got to do with losing $50 in two minutes, that's too fast by several times. And hold upside. Stretch it out to 10 minutes. You know, add live with a guy while he's taking my shoe off. Anyway, the race is over. I lost $50 and heaven knows, I wish I could forget it. I mean, I'm really I'm really not a sore loser. What do you mean you're not a sore loser? Hello, Mary. I mean, I can take it. I never care what I lose on a horse race. What are you talking about? A couple of months ago, you lost $2. I wanna Bing Crosby's horses and you burned his house down. I was in New York when cross these horse across the house should have been a horse getting back to the Kentucky Derby. I wasn't disappointed when I lost that bet on Rochester's horse. I heard the result over the air. I walked over the radio and I turned off the dial. You bit off Mary for the last time. I was not disappointed. I was not upset. And why did you run in the bathroom and try to slash your wrists? Because the broadcast was sponsored by Gillette Blue Blade and A threw me A. That's the only reason they Jackson, you aren't the only guy that lost due on that breaks. I hear Rochester lost his whole bankroll. Yeah, he wired me for some money, but I didn't send him any. Well, then how they're going to get home. He's riding his horse from Kentucky. Make much better time. The horse would ride him, burned cork. He had to call him a bird court. I can roll a court down the street with my nose faster in. That just happened. You have a very good nose for cork rolling. That's not a picture. It all you want to know something? Jackson. I want 20 bucks on Rochester's do in 20 bucks. When the horse came in last, I bet he'd still be breathing at the end of the race. One of the matter of fact, you're the kind of Ah, Hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr Benny. Well, you lost $50. Go ahead, kick me kick you before It's right in my contract When you're lonely, sad and blue, I get it. Don't worry, kid. I'm not gonna kick it. Okay, then I'll take this fight in out of my pants. I'll be done. There's a high. And now, ladies and gentlemen, lemon meringue. I know, I know. Let's forget about the Derby and horse races and everything We got a program to do. Now, ladies and gentlemen, for our feature Kentucky I mean, Peter attracts Evening. We're going to provide me Jack. I'll take it now, ladies and gentlemen, for our feature attraction this evening. We would like to show you what happened last week when Jack rented Eddie Cantor's house in Palm Springs. It seems that now wait a minute, Don. Nobody is interested in that little episode in Palm Springs. I rent a standard house. I had a very pleasant week. I paid him for you. What? I had a very pleasant week. Tonight. We're going to do a play. But Mary thought this would be much man. A man who is the boss of this program. Me or marry grape nuts Flakes in the big 12 ounce economy size package. That booth, you're referring to General Foods on. We get along Swell, guys. I remember old General Foods when he was just a yard bird B shot. Mary, take my gun outside. There's no smoking in the booth now, ladies and gentlemen, I started safe for our feature attraction this evening. We are going to present a player. Jack. Benny, we're not having any play. Go ahead, Don. Tell everybody what happens. Us Palm Springs last week. Well, the whole thing started when Jax doctor told him last Monday morning that the only way to really clear up his cold was to spend a week on the desert on the desert on the desert. Big fat cactus. Jack and Mary Adjust left the doctor's office, and we're walking along buying street for the Brown Derby Weren't jackets. Mr. Are you all right now? Yes, yes, yes. Thank you. Sure you can imagine. Yes, yes, yes, I'm all right. Well, good bye, Mr Goodbye. Those boy scouts were always leading me across the ah with not that old. Well, I'm starving, Jack. Let's drop in at the brown derby and get something to eat. I know a place right up the street from the brown Derby. That's terrific. Hoolahan's hot dog, ary. I'm not going to that joint. What do you mean, joined? Everybody goes there. Look at their slogan birth with Booth on this cold. My doctor telling me the only way to get over it is to go to Palm Springs. Now I have to buy a 10. What? 10 never occurred to you to stop at a hotel? I don't know. Anybody staying at a hotel in Palm Springs? I mean, get a room of your own. A place where you can have both ends of the towel. I might have to it that Well, here's Hoolahan Hot dog re. Let's go in. Hello, the Did you make a reservation? I don't know, Jack. No, I forgot. Look, Mr Holahan, I wish the place in here where Chinese, his head look with cruel. And I'm Jack Benny. I dine here 45 times a week. You've got a wonderful stomach. Get out of here before it's too late. Okay, some other time. Come on, Mary. Let's go. Wow, This fresh air smells good. We were only in there a second. I want to go on to restore Ritzy will walk out of the Brown Derby. Come on. Way the way The Brown Derby sure is jam today. Giving happy crowd way. I don't need you. You ever do ask for dicks, Davis? Beaver Patrol. Remember that? Come on, let's find a table. Yeah, this place sure draws the tourist. I hope nobody asked me Jack Benny for my autograph. Uh, what's that name again? Jack. Benny. Well, nothing happened. Let's eat chilies Headwaiter over there. Maybe he can. Jack Eddie Cantor. And that's not both. Where? Oh, yeah, that is that he? Yeah. I hope I look as good as he does when I'm his age. Yes, sir. I just thought of something. Jack said he's got a house in Palm Springs. Maybe you could read it from him. Cantor's house. What do you mean, rented? He's a friend of mine. You've given me. Let's sit. Sit with him. Hello, Eddie. How are you? Jack? Mary, come on down. Well, Jack, what are you doing in the Derby? Raining outside, huh? No, no, no. It was marries Mary's idea. I haven't seen a long time, Jack. You look marvelous. Well, thanks. Anything. I've been pretty sick, you know? Well, sick and I hope I look as good as you do when I'm your age. How's the, uh How's the family, Eddie? House, Ida and the boys Four. Why not, boy, my kids. A girl you're thinking of? Crosby? Crosby. Remember? I burned his house down for you when you were in New York. Oh, yes, Yes. Thank. Well, go ahead and order something, Mary. Incidentally, the peanut butter sandwiches here. Delicious. Incidentally, I'm having the cream turkey. Incidentally, the cream turkey costs a dollar 75. Incidentally, everybody's looking at us. Look, look, look. All right? You can have the cream turkey, Mary, but if I ask you for a kiss on the cab on the way home Don't say what for. I'm kind of hungry myself. What you have in there any? It looks good. Chicken soup with egg noodles, chicken soup with egg noodles. And I think I have some of that. Okay, I'll have the way. No, I mean, I'll order some a bowl for myself. Haven't got it today. I brought this one from home school. Later, schools. Food. What for? I want a school. The chicken soup with my friend here. He brought his own spoon. Look I came un prepared. Give me a school here. Er thank And waiter. Bring me in order of cream turkey at last. A sale in this booth. I can't believe it. The suit looks good. Yeah, Let's start 12 You know, Eddie, I'm sure. Glad. Boy. You know any I'm sure Glad I Eddie, would you mind eating with your left hand and putting your right arm around my shoulder? I'm too far from the bowl. Is this better? Jack? A. Oh, I'm sorry. My elbows Yuria way. Got to think of something else. Well, why don't you put your right hand through my left sleeve and then we can both dip at the same time way have to cut a hole in your cold. That won't work. Why don't you put the ball on my head? Any piggyback? You get that cream turkey? I think we're all right now. Let's go. 12 I was saying any I'm sure glad I bumped into. By the way, Jack, would you mind breaking a cracker and putting it in the soup? It's already but I can't stand crackers in my soup, will break one in any way and floated over to my side. Okay, there. Anyway, Eddie, I'm sure glad by glad I bumped into you. See? You see the crackers on flooring either on my side. Well, tip the booth. I can hardly make that. Get ready, Eddie. Forward soup. They married while you're waiting. Why don't you get a full enjoyment? Don't bring guests. It's crowded enough. Think this is the Hollywood Bowl? Delicious, I thought. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it there. Ready? What the matter? That numerous mind? Most of it is on my spoon. Give me that. No home. No, you don't. Let go of that. You go. What do you laughing that it looked like to Robbins with a word. Well, I've had enough anyway. Your cream turkey. Thank you. Want 34 credit or the boy sitting this one out? I'll be so smart. I've been trying to say Eddie, I'm sure glad I bumped into you. You know, I'm going a Palm Springs for a few days. I thought maybe you'd like to join me. I thought maybe we could get a room together in a hotel. I don't think I could make a jack, but say, I'll tell you what. What What? What? Tell me want? Well, no, I don't think you'd like it. Yes, I would. Yes, I would. Tell me. What are you going to say? Well, I happen to have a little house down there. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you say there instead of a hotel? Well, as the star Nice of Yeti. What would you charge me for, Jack? With friends? We've known each other for years. Take the house for nothing. No, no, I did not. Wait a minute. No friendship is friendship, but I don't want to take advantage of I insist on paying you for your house. Take it for nothing. Please. I'll feel better, but any. I'll feel much better if you charge me something. No, no, not. Come on. How much do you want for? One week? One week? What is $300? I don't like swimming. And four, I've had him some yet for two months. Help me sleep. Cut that price. All right. You can have the house for 250. How is that? I'm still restless. Give me the house for nothing. You'll feel better. Like you said. All right, Jack Benny, I'll give you the house for nothing on one condition. What's that? There are plenty of hotels and Palm Springs. Don't start a new one with Jack. Don't worry, I won't. Well, thanks. All right. You welcome back. So long way when you appear close meteo way there in the way dream reverie be being While creek It's a long way Way in the battle of an eye on Dial your hand Way No way, way That was in the blue of evening Sung by a dentist A And now, ladies and gentlemen, to continue with our story of what happened when Jack rented Eddie Cantor's house in Palm Springs. That stool pigeon. Tell him everything. Well, bright. And early Tuesday morning, Jack married Denis. Filling lines were out on highway 99. Wait, A bomb. Mary had no trouble stopping a truck. I used the old guy to trick folks on before many hours had passed. We had arrived at the springs and were hiding in the bushes in front of Canter's. It seems that you stay in the bushes here and I'll go up, ring the doorbell. What do we have to stay here for, Mr Benny? That's allowed. If you think I'm gonna spend five days and Holly Hawk, you're crazy. Only be for a few minutes. Once I get inside, you can all drop in casualties. I don't want the caretaker to tell Cantor that brought a whole gang with me after all. You know how cheap he is. How cheap is the expert will pull your head down and try to look like a Holly. I look more like a gladiolus. Why? I worry about Dennis. Flower should be smelled and not hurt. I remember, fellas, when I give the signal coming casually, you know, Let's see Where is the doorbell? Oh, here it is Way. Want candor? What? I have Put your head down, Kids. Uh, here comes somebody. Holy smoke! The house is haunted. Dio, how do you do? Are you the custodian? You, you the cat caretaker. No, you didn't. You said, Are you the custodian? Custodian and caretaker are identical. Their cinema There's anonymous. You save time by ignoring Lee of all I want to know is what? What do you do here? As you can prepare me to stay here and keep burglars away? Burglars, Many burgers and palm springs Only me Uh oh. You're kidding. You wouldn't take anything. I wouldn't take anything. Have you got the correct time, please? Why it? That's strange. I must have left my watch at home. Boy. Look, look, I'm Jack Benny. The feeling is mutual. What do you mean? The feeling is mutual. I don't like you. And you don't like may. Look, I'm Jack Benny. Mr. Cantor said I could use his house this week. You get Benny? Yes. I'm Jack. Benny. If I looked like you when I reach your age, I shouldn't take it. What's that got to do with? Are you going to let me in or not? Yes. Come in and bring those hollyhocks with you. Come on in, kids. Everything's all set, gentlemen. We all took our luggage. Went inside the house, made ourselves comfortable, Jack, of course, took Eddie's room and started one. Tacky. See, I got my wife plan. Open my blazer parasol in case it gets to sonny your bathing trunks. Thank you. Know where's my Don and I won't be able to go in swimming. What's the matter to forget your muscles? I forgot my water wings. What's the difference? You couldn't blow him up anyway. Bad out, Jackson. And I sure got a swell layout here looking all those pictures of movie stars on the wall. That's right, Bill were all up there. There's my picture over there. Where Mr Many right there, above the breast. That's Gene Autry's horse. Oh, yes, the white main pool. Although I gave candor, a beautiful picture of myself must be around here. Oh, dentist, will you please put my razor and my two fresh toothbrush in the bathroom? Yes, Mary. Put my cold cream on the dressing table, will you? OK, now where did I put Mr Benny? What is a dentist? I found your pig. I know he had it around here someplace. I'm happy. I'll get it. Hello? This is Eddie. Are you comfortable? Is everything all right? Oh, swell. The house is wonderful. Leading Glad you like it. By the way, Jack had a little talk with Ida, and I told her I let you have the house for nothing. Actually, take it. When I stopped bouncing, it was $300. Unite. Expect me to pay $300 rent? Yes, in 10 cents for the chicken soup. Well, I say if You're a fine friends. Don't blame me. I don't blame you. Who's the boss in your family? Your idea. I call you back, staying right here. But any idea whether insist? What are you, a man or a mouse? Have to call you back on that too. Okay, I'll save your check. Goodbye. Goodbye. I'm sorry about this, Jack, But anyway, have a good time. I just stopped pushing. I can certainly wish him a good time. Have a good time, Jack. Paper woman makes a delicious chicken soup be so mercenary. What do we do, Jack? We can't go home. I'm stuck for $300. 10 cents on a wristwatch. Now, listen, Marrying this goes for all of you. You're all chipping in or paying for your room here till you get the big room at the head of the stairs. That'll be 10 bucks a day. And don you get the corner bedroom with cross ventilation. That's 12 50. The shooting sleep on the Davenport for three and a half. Mary, you take ideas room and we'll put a sign out front. Tourists accommodated. I'll get that $300 back up in the last thing I do well, any I I want to thank you on birth, Gordon, the man Russian for coming over here today. And, uh, really? I was thinking Stop thinking you've got the violin under your chin. Phil is ready. I'll sing. Okay, let's go. Come on. Ah, Arab No one I love sweet moon up. Hi. I'd like to kill that guy Sweet. No one else has my dreams on without you, dear. I don't know what I When you're feeling mighty brew Great Earthquake is good for you Out of line You live all the time Sweet. No one else on without you here. I don't know what I wish that he would play piano like so much I had a heart of mine You, ladies and gentlemen. But do you know the slogan that will probably go ringing down the corridors of time when it comes to the history of better living? That's up from Sam's famous new slogan. The basic seven. The basic seven was created to ensure a better fed and hence more efficient. America makes sense, doesn't it? Makes wise so learn and live by the basic seven. Seven groups of foods are government, urges us to eat daily, including proteins, carbohydrates, fats, minerals and vitamins. Because these supply the energy and tissue building material we need or all around good health featured in the basic seven, you'll find whole grain cereals such as Chris Toasted Brown. Great Nuts Place in group for you'll find milk in group free fruit. Combine these and here's one simple, inexpensive way to get well started on your daily basic seven food menu. Here's a breakfast, lunch or supper combination that's mighty tempting and tasting and, more important, rich in essential food value. Remember, it doesn't take a single precious rations stamp to buy 50 Grape Nuts Flakes. The last number, the 31st program of the new Grape Nuts Flakes series, will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time the night Bill Maher
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