Hello and welcome to snack and discuss. Um that's the name of my podcast that I started on Spotify and Apple podcast. However, yeah, what's funny about this experience is that um I only have one episode. I originally had a few episodes that I recorded in my old laptop which died along with all my files and I do not have access to that anymore, unfortunately. So yeah, that that's what happened. So um the let me just since this is my first audio for verbal or if that's how you call it, I'm not and I'm not entirely sure. Um I'll look into that because I just literally saw the email and I'm like you know what, why the heck not? I've been meaning to do a podcast and I have all the equipment um and I haven't done it in a while because you know, it's just like the mojo was was off and now we're bringing it back. So yeah. Uh um so the whole concept of snack and discuss as a podcast is that I associate topics with a certain snack um when when I talk about snack, obviously what comes to mind it are um food or yeah, uh snacks that we that we would like to munch on every now and then. Um and I sort of like see snack and discuss as a concept because like every single topic that we talk about that we discuss or that we any topic that we used to converse with other people essentially a snack, like when we talk about snack and we're not like diving into the whole food, whereas snack or binge, we're binging were munching and that's how topics art and that's how that's how topics should be. Like I understand that um there are some people who believe that every single topic is political but it doesn't have to be that way. Sometimes it's just something that you want to munch on and as you mentioned that you discuss things um So yeah um that's the whole concept of it associating food with a certain topic and discussing about it and when I talk about discussing that means like whoever is listening, whoever is on this um app and if you are listening thank you and if you have a different opinion to what I what my opinion, my personal opinion is then that would be nice to hear from you guys because it's a discussion ultimately and that's how I wanted to be. Um Nobody has the right to tell you what you should believe in or what you should not believe in. Um Everything is up for discussion if you want it to be. Um My only wish is that you don't be an asshole, you know um because I have my personal beliefs and I'm sure you do too and what causes conflict in any situation or um in any discussion rather or in any debate um is that one has to be right and I don't think that's the case, everybody is brought up in different with different backgrounds with different upbringings with different cultures, traditions and Customs and um, one of the, one of the traits that we have to be reminded of is first of all respect, acceptance understanding and um hopefully that will lead to a better and more transparent form of communication. You know, again, nobody has to be right or wrong and just a heads up, sometimes I'll have been like most of the time we swear, I swear because um when you get to passionate, like why wouldn't you? You know, so transparency is something that can be expected from this podcast and um yeah, random topics. Um, and I don't know what I'm going to talk about, basically, I'm just introducing what the, what this podcast will be about and the the last snack that I had was a banana. I am not sure how I can relate that. Um it's not anything sexual. Um okay, how do I put this? Okay, banana is convenient, it's fast, it's efficient, it's healthy. Um and I think that's how interacted should be um like when we uh when we encounter or meet someone for the first time, which is essentially what this is. Um like I, I am introducing snack and discuss in this app. Um um it's like an acquaintance and banana is a very, it's the greatest acquaintance for food I think because it's simple and it's bright, it's attractive enough to, its striking enough to get your attention. Um it's convenient you can eat without getting your hands dirty. Um you know, you peel it and it's very straightforward. Um So that's that's how acquaintance acquaintance is should be. Um and first time encounter should be because there's just no judgment. It's just how it is. And um yeah, until you have transparency is key um for this podcast. Um So yeah, banana. Um and to dive in deeper into that, um I I understand that banana has a very phallic shape. So um I guess I can also associate that with obviously um males who have this organ and um I am personally still recovering from a break up, which, and you know, it was for the better because the relationship wasn't going anywhere anyway. And um it's just it's just an experience for me because relationships are hard, you know, and like just going back with the whole banana concept, um bananas come in different colors, you know, and different types. You have the short ones, the long ones, the fat, the thin, um the green ones, the yellow ones. And if I would compare my last relationship, it would be um unripe, what do you call um uh what do you call the fruit? That's not? Right, okay, so it's not, it was an unripe green banana. Um It's still like it's still hanging on the lee on, not on the leaf, but on the tree. Um Give me a break because it's like 12 Midnight and that's when I'm recording this because like why the fuck not. Um Anyway so um that's how I would describe the relationship, you know it's good for you. You know it's nutritious, you know it's convenient you know that it's um that it does the job but at the same time it's not ready but just the timing is off. You know? Um My part, my ex partner um was just wasn't at the same pace as I am and I'm not saying that I'm better or that this person is better than me. Um It's just that um I am a very driven, ambitious, focused individual um and I would like to explore. I am currently living overseas from my home country because I want an adventure and that's where my mind is right now. Um There are so many things that I still want to do and my ex partner was ready to settle down and I wasn't sure if I was there. So um the love was there, the connection is there. Um but this person lack the dry that I needed for me to settle down, you know? Um It's just like this this person has a very interesting personality and I'm not saying it's good, I'm not saying it's bad, it's just different. Um and I have a personality too, so that's why it just didn't work out. Um I am not ready to no until the country where he is based and stay there um and start over because right now um working internationally, going, working internationally is that I am enjoying it and yeah, I am just not ready to have that um to commit that to commit that much yet. So yeah, it's a very green banana that's hanging on a tree, that's how it is. Um and also there's song from, oh it's from a musical, it's from an off broadway musical um called I Love You because that's the name of the musical and there's just one song um and that's called Just Not Now and the line, that song epitomizes what I feel towards my then relationship. Um the line is I'm not gonna sing it, but it goes um I want to love someday, but just not now a picket fence cliche but just not now. Uh I need some time to heal although your love is real. I'm not prepared to be quite where you are. Um you're here too soon and though I know it sounds unfair if you would wait for me, I swear I'll meet you there there. Um uh so yeah, that's how the line goes. So um so yeah, that song, that song really um it really does describe my whole um my past relationship. So yeah, we were just in different places and this person was still not ready to grow up. I am ready. This person is not ready to grow up but This person one wanted to settle down as if like marriage will fix everything. I do not believe in that, I feel like if I'm going to get married, I need it to be, I need to be financially ready, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually ready, you know, like all aspects I want to get married when I'm ready. I know that in some generations in the past, they feel like marriage is the answer, but marriage is not the answer. That's why there are so many people who are unhappy in their marriages who are divorced and there's nothing wrong with being divorced. Don't get me wrong. Or there are some people who are staying in a relationship or in their marriage because they feel like, you know this is their life, but it's not and I do not want to be that way. I do not want to make that mistake. I want to get married once and that should last for the rest of my life. That is how I want my marriage to be. So I do not want to get married just because everybody who's my age are, are already getting married, settling down having kids and all that. Um so yeah, if you feel like your relationship is still an unripe fruit that's hanging on a tree, please for goodness sake, do not get married. Marriage will not fix the problem. Marriage will not solve your issues, marriage will not or uh yeah, marriage will not solidify your shaky foundation of a relationship, It should be the next step when everything is okay, when everything is great and you feel like you're ready to do a for like a bigger form of commitment and have it on paper, legalize it and let the whole, the whole state or the whole um or the country. No, that's why that's why you have a frickin paper. That's why you have the fucking paper for that to prove that you are married to this person. It's telling the people that you know and telling the country where you're at that I am legally bind ID to this person for the rest of my life. And this is the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life. I am giving this person, my rights, my heart, my love, and my life. That is how a marriage should be. It should not be an escape. It should not be a reason to grow up. It should not be a last resort. It should not be a first response either. So I don't know what I'm doing on this, but like um so like when a couple is having problems and I've seen this a lot from friends and family, which is unfortunate when they're having a problem. Uh one of them will get down on one knee and ask and ask their partner to marry them and the partner will say yes, probably because of um the pressures of social um social expectations, which is like bullshit or um cultural traditions again bullshit because if we're, if we're going to give into the hole expectations from our family, friends, society, then that's crap. You know, you have to get married for love, you have to get married because you do not see yourself with anyone else, but this person you do not see yourself figuring life out with without this person, that's how it should be. It shouldn't be like marriage won't be, it won't be the answer to everything. And I know that there's so many of my mouth is getting dry, but there are so many religious beliefs, there's so many cultural beliefs about it and it just doesn't make sense to me. It just doesn't, it just, it just doesn't fit for me. Like I do not buy it. Um So yeah, because going back to the banana, if you have a green banana hanging on a tree and that's where your relationship is at the moment, you you're stubborn. You think that marriage will solve the answer. You pick out that banana, that green hard banana that's still hanging on a tree that is not ready to be eaten or cooked or whatever. You pick it out just cause social expectations just because that's what my family says, that just because you feel like it will fix the problem. You take it peel it and it's going to be tough, it's going to be tough to appeal that damn thing because um the banana skin can be tough when it's not ready. So you use a knife, cut the top, peel it off and you succeed. Fine. You peeled it off, bite into it, it's not satisfying. It's greeny, it's hard, it's tough to chew. There are hard parts that you would definitely spit that out and that is not a marriage, that is not a partnership, that is not how marriage should be. So your relationship should reach the next level, should reach. If you want to get married or living together, whatever the next level is for you, your relationship should only go to the next level when it is ready. If it's not ready, leave it alone figure stuff out. Break up. It's ok. If you break up with someone, nobody will take it against you if you're single, it's okay. So that's another thing. And I know this is another topic for probably in their podcast, but another episode rather. Um but being single is not the worst thing in the world. If anything, it's the best thing because there are no rules, you are responsible for you and if you have co dependency issues, you need, you need to fucking solve that on your own. Okay. Being coded, There's nothing wrong with being co dependent, but if you're being too co dependent to the point that you cannot make your own decisions and you cannot be alone and be comfortable in your own thoughts, Then fuck, you need to go to therapy. Like you need extra help. You need to figure yourself self out before you commit to anyone in the first place. Um Again, being in a relationship won't be an answer. Being committed to another person, won't be an answer. You need to figure out you you should be the priority because the only way for you to be, to be ready for a relationship is if you are ready to be that perfect partner, if you have certain expectations for your potential mate partner, you have to be the perfect partner for them. You need to be fair. You know, you can't expect them to be, oh this is my prince charming. This is my princess. But you are not a prince or a princess to that person. That would suck. And it's so unfair. So please do not do that. And I have been babbling for like 20 minutes now. Um I did not expect that. Um, So yeah, be a ripe banana that's ready to be eaten not uh an unripe or are unripe rock hard fruit that's still hanging on a tree. You don't want that. You want to be ready. Okay, so I guess I'm going to end it there. And if you got this far. Thank you so much for listening. And if not, hey, thank you for listening until the part where you got tired of it. Um and I do hope that you, what if you are listen, if this, if this potentially has any listeners, then that would be fantastic. If not then I tried, you know, I this is this is also a great creative outlet for me to let out all my feelings because I have a few forms of um outlets like I have a few hobbies that I do and I don't know, maybe today I just needed to speak out because I did not feel creative today. Um so yeah, maybe I just needed to speak out. I also tried reading but that was like going in and my mind is just has just so many things I wanted that it needs to be um released and this is this is also this is a good release for me. So, I am grateful for this app. I am grateful for just giving that email and now here it is. So yeah, so stay wonderful everybody and sending love and light to you guys. Until next time.