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Brian Regan Stand-Up Snippet From Epitome of Hyperbole

From Audio: Brian Regan's Reading
05:41
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Comedy Corner - A Playlist of Stand-Up Jokes From Hilarious Comedians A comedy playlist of great jokes and stand-up sets by some of the best and up-and-coming comedians to make you laugh out loud. Molly Ann Hale
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Brian Regan is silly and hilarious and if you are not familiar with his work, please go watch his specials.
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Thanks. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I read in the newspaper that more and more adults are living at home with their parents. That surprised me. I was like mom, did you read this? I don't believe it so surprised I called Froot loops all over my bib came around haphazardly. I'm joking. My mom read that for me. Sound it out, sound it out. Maury and Maury A dukes. Yes. I don't like reading the newspaper because first of all it's hard. Also they never wrap up a story on the front page and I'm never curious enough to go inside to find out how anything ever ends. And after a nine-year trial, the jury finally came in with a verdict of continued on page 22 column CI guess I'll never know. You never see these people I wanna learn. I wanna be a learner of things. You want me to know what's going on. You put a picture of it on the front page, Reading's hard, Never tried that. I read good. Goodly, but I hate when you're trying to read something and you come across the expression. One thing led to another. What in the hell. Kind of lazy writing is that isn't that your job as the writer to tell me how this led to that? You can just throw that in there. Adolf Hitler was rejected as a young man and his application to art school. One thing led to another and the United States dropped two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan. It it's hard to read. I hate when a sentence drags on because my brain can't handle a long sentence. The corporation had originally decided that a restructuring of its charter should be preceded by a preliminary what in the hell is going girl? Okay, here we go. Alright. The corporation, Okay. The corporation put smokestacks on that. I had originally Okay, This thing had before. I'm gonna move that to the past and that's a timeline smokestacks. They're not even here yet. That's coming. The corporation had originally decided, hey, we better put little people in the window making decisions. That's how I read in the library that people like, what are you doing final read. So I'm trying to learn how to read better. You know, I took a speed reading course and not to brag, but my speed shot up to 43 pages a minute. But my comprehension plummeted, take the good with the bad man, flying sparks coming off the fingertips. People next to me in class. He's a rapid reader proud. I'm trying to learn how to read because uh, read better because I hear it's like good for you or something. It's got a good reputation, right? Nobody ever bad mouths it. You never see a point counterpoint show about reading and in the pro side of reading like a professor with a bowtie and on the opposite side reading reading don't never do nothing because if you have if you had have, has have hesitated, but you did have it in a positive is in the book. And you look had looks have looks has looks have looked at it. Look at it is it? Look at it, look at it, it it at it then you might not even know why you had to do that. Yeah. Um I have nothing to add. I'd like to yield the remainder of my time to my opponent in the interest of fairness. Please. Yeah. If reading makes you smart then how come when you read a book? They have to put the title of the book on the top of every single page in that book. Does anyone ever get halfway through a book? What the hell am I reading? Oh it's right there at the top. Okay. I forget again. How much right there? That is handy. I don't know what I guess I do. Yes I do. Now that's good. I don't want to have to go all the way back to the cover. Okay. I didn't know what I was reading.