Group 4 Created with Sketch.

Elizabeth Gilbert and Brené Brown on Self-Forgiveness vs Empathy

60 Listens
Last Played: December 28, 2021
Play Audio
Add to Playlist
Share Report
Note: This audio file is not hosted by Vurbl because it has not been claimed. To report playback issues with this file, please contact the RSS host here.
Found on these Playlists
Load More Playlists
Full Description
Back to Top
Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of "Big Magic" and "Eat, Pray, Love" speaks with Brené Brown, author of "Rising Strong" about the difference between self-forgiveness and discipline, and the opposite of shame—which is empathy. According to Brown, kindness, and self-love, talking to yourself like you would talk to someone you love, will help you more than beating yourself up over past mistakes.
Back to Top
feel like, you know, I want to speak to you, too, about the difference between, um, self forgiveness and discipline, because I think one of the errors in thinking that I see people make when they start to embark on creativity is that they think that the most important thing they need is discipline. When I think the most important thing you need is self forgiveness, because the only thing that's going to get you back to work on Day two is if you forgive yourself for how bad your work was on day one. Um, and that's not discipline. That's just that's just love. There's zero question in my mind that you're right about that. There's zero question. Um, Day two doesn't stop because of willpower or discipline. It stops because of shame, right? Um, and the answer is a shame. The antidote to shame is not disciplined. The actual antidote to shame is empathy. We had a Twitter conversation about this one in the middle of the night that was so important to me because I was struggling with a really big shame assault on myself for something that I still feel like I failed miserably. Still think about a couple hours a day, Um, of an incident that happened in my life that I just I feel like I blew it, you know? And I couldn't get around it. And I wrote to you in Twitter in the middle of the night, Burn a brown. What is the opposite of shame? What is the antidote? How can I help myself with this? And you wrote back empathy, and it was not what I was expecting. Um, I thought it was gonna be dignity or self esteem or self worth or, you know, discipline. But it's empathy. So it's kindness. Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love. Ah, yeah, yeah. Um it's like, What if I you know? And if I look, if I wake up on Day two and I look back at the draft and it sucks and I've got half written I wanted to write 1000 words. I wrote 200 it's a shitty 200 it doesn't make any sense. I would probably say, Like Jesus, you are such a loser. Get your shit together, Burn a god. You're just such a fake writer. There's like imposter writer if you called me and you said, Hey, it's Liz and I'm just in a hard place because I was supposed to write 1000 words I wrote 200. I'm looking at this morning. It's all shit. What do you think I would say? I think you're writing. I think it's amazing. And I think those 200 words you don't get to the other ones before you write those. So I'm proud of you and I love you and keep writing. Can I call you tomorrow? It's like talk to yourself like you talk to someone you live right. We have such capacity to offer that, um, to everybody but ourselves. And I had a I had a really big breakthrough, ones with that where A friend of mine who I was very kind to because I loved her said to me, um, what makes you think you're so special? And I was like and she said, What makes you think you're so special that you're the only human being who is not deserving of compassion? You think you think you're better than everyone else and I was like, Oh my God, it's the first time I understood the narcissism of depression, right? That that you put yourself in this special category where you alone are not deserving and you alone are not worthy. Um, and therefore you're special and in a weird way, better than everyone else. It's the hyper independence. Wow. Go it alone. It's It's those German roots I can grow as a Swede. I I hear you and I feel you. Um uh
Add to playlist
New playlist


Embed Options
Create Playlist
Select the Station you want to upload this audio to
0 / 140
0 / 2000
Playlist Icon Image:
(.jpg, .png, min size 500x500px)
Discover & Listen to the world’s largest free collection of audio
Password reset

Enter your email address that you used to register. We'll send you an email with your username and a link to reset your password.

If you still need help, contact Vurbl Support
Password reset sent

You have been sent instructions on resetting you password to the email associated with your account. Please check your email and signing in again.

Back to Sign In
If you still need help, contact Vurbl Support
Discover & Listen to the world’s largest free collection of audio
Reset password

Please enter your new password below.

If you still need help, contact Vurbl Support
Your voice matters.
Discover & Listen to the world’s largest free collection of audio
Verify Email

Enter your email address that you used to register. We'll send you an email with a link to verify your email.

Delete Profile
Are you sure? We will miss you :'(
Delete Audio
Are you sure?
Delete Playlist
Are you sure you want to delete this playlist?
You must be signed in to view
your notifications. Please sign in
Edit Snippet
0 / 140
0 / 140

Tag a Station

Type station name to add additional tags
*Station owners will be notified when you tag them
Open this link in the Vurbl Mobile App for the full Vurbl experience.
Open in Vurbl mobile app
Continue to Vurbl website