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Listen to The Jack Benny Program Audio: Jack Benny vs. Fred Allen | Jack Benny - Single Episodes - 1936-1937 | Audio

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station description THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM The Jack Benny Program aired from May 2, 1932 until June 2... read more
Jack Benny - Single Episodes - 1936-1937 | Old Time Radio Show | Audio
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Duration: 29:30
In this episode of The Jack Benny Program, listen to Jack Benny and Fred Allen exchange verbal blows.
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In this episode of The Jack Benny Program, Jack Benny and Fred Allen exchange verbal blows. The two feud over their lifestyles and careers.

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Okay, The the Yellow program Coming to you from the Grand Ballroom of the Hotel Pierre, starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Abe Lyman and his orchestra, the orchestra opens a program with you from the Great Ziegfeld. They say that money, and if you want to save both time and money served Jell O for dessert, Jello is easy to make. Easy to take a good looking, good tasting and expensive dessert that you can make in just a jiffy. Your whole family will go for Jello, refreshing through fruit tastes. And remember, the genuine yellow brings you that extra rich fruit flavor flavor that comes from fresh right through. So brighten up your dinner table some night. Soon. So have a great gleaming date of colorful Jell O. It looks so attractive that tastes so good and cost so little. Ask your grocer for Jello tomorrow, but be sure you get the real thing. Accept no substitutes on one and hold laid genuine government. We bring you a follow. Who is a big man in Hollywood, A giant in Waukegan, but just another actor in New York, Jack Benny coming to you from the Grand ballroom of the hotel, Pierre. And listen, don, I'm not such a small guy in New York either. Well, then, Jack, how come they won't even let you broadcast in the NBC studios first with Waldorf Astoria, now the Pierre? Because NBC is crowded. That's why. Well, are you going to stay in New York anyway? Until we run out of hotel have been hanging around so many ballrooms. I feel like a chandelier. A certain amount of class and prestige broadcasting from a place like this. Come in, Mr Betty. Yes, we have. For the management of the hotel P. I bid you welcome and trust that the broadcasting facilities here are satisfactory. They certainly are. Now, if there's anything I could do for you, don't hesitate to call upon. Well, thank you. Is there anything I can do for you? Yes. Don't mingle with. That's what I get for slumming on the avenue. Anyway, down. It's still a distinction to be able to do our program from here. Not every entertainer will be granted that privilege, particularly one that I know of on that day. Well, I don't want to mention any means, but I don't see how Harry Von Zell can laugh at him every Wednesday night. Oh, well, that announcer. Yeah, probably. They sell anyway. Nothing. You can put flight bananas way back. Did you hear Allen call you a bully last Wednesday? Fanny? The Bully band needs a bully, Alex. Better than being a charity cat, Allen is a you know. Oh, Don, he's an awful baby. Imagine a grown man taking either when he gets a manicure. Anyway, I don't want Allen's name mentioned any more on this program. From now on, if you have to refer to him, just call him Boo. Good enough for me to Allah, that's a silly day. Well, if it's correct, high down, where have you been? I was out with Blue and partner Hasta Oh, you're very well. I think you select your company little more carefully. Court Portman's all right, but I watch out for Booth. You know, Dad, he asked me if you really played the boo on your violence, the B and don't overdo it. Anyway, let's change the subject, all right. Yellow is not only economical, but it's easy to make and remember, it takes twice as good as ever before. Now let's change the subject again. Surely Jack O Kenny and he had to go to Hollywood to finish his picture. But he'll be back again next week. You know, Jack, I just got a cute telegram from Canning. Oh. Then he must have arrived there. What does it say? Wait a minute. Here it is. A rock on safely. Whether Excellent trip. Pleasant bus Comfortable. Oh, he murdered beautiful in Pennsylvania, especially when we passed through. Boom. Town means Allentown. Read my thoughts. Right now. I'm listening to the program, and I certainly missed me. Oh, you would never know Hollywood. It has changed a lot in two weeks. I can't even find my house in. The Paramount studio has changed his name to Anheuser Busch. Anheuser Busch. Where's that wire problem? Mary and ST Louis, I thought, What a dope. Imagine getting off thing Lewis read on Mary? Yeah, in a telegram, I guess. What? I'm in ST Louis instead of Hollywood. Boy, they mixed up right for letting him take that trip alone. They deck? Yeah. 00 a But how am Oh, I'm all right. Can I talk to you a minute? Your Lyman. What is it? Listen, Jack, I had some pretty bad reports about me on Lance on these programs. You did? Why? I thought you were great, didn't you? Done? Why? Certainly. You were swell, Abe. Oh, I don't mean my music, but my friends all seem to think that you made me sound like a pretty tough guy, But a bit we were only kidding. Well, I'm sensitive. Oh, yeah. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a mugger of tough, bigger anything. I'm considered a gentleman. Well, I'm terribly sorry. A really? Well, don't do it again, or I'll kick your teeth out. Oh, you're well. Are you gonna take that from him, Jack? Well, I think them, but I don't wanna be known as a bully, Especially without tea. That's gratitude for you. They don. Why do I always have trouble with orchestra leaders? What have I done to deserve the constant threat of violence? Um, I, a magnet that attracted brutality and micro a football to be kicked around from pillar to go. Why must I be eternally ducking behind a microphone? I don't know why. While I'm thinking of an answer, the orchestra will play. I got play, Lyman. I was Freddie Bartholomew had a north ride. Tell him something way. I got a little girl crazy. Played by Abe Lyman and his musical muscle Man, I don't know even how can your musicians be so tough and play so sweetly? I feed him raw meat and cream puff o. Anyhow, I don't want to argue about anything. I'm too tired. I was up all night doing some last minute work on my income income down. And I saw it club last night with a bond. Well, she was helping me. The way to put it down as a dependent. Very blondes are deductible. You know, Jack, I'm glad I live in California. Where there's knowing some my married the federal tax applies California the same as any other. That's funny. I never paid one. You didn't. Well, didn't you get any letter from the government? Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was fan mail. I sent him a picture. Better file a tax report right away. Or you will be doing a guest appearance on the Leavenworth. Our That's pretty good with you. Better get after Mary. Really? I don't have to take a lap. I really didn't expect you tonight. Thanks. to manhunt in the back of us coming up here. I came up for my services to give, you know? Oh, really? Are you a singer? That's me being You're a singer. Well, that's news to me. Who's the band? Did you sing with Going on bottle, Roy that depend the rhythm boys. Wow, a Lombard. Listen, I listen to a limb A lot of times I never heard your voice. Oh, they played allowed. Well, tell me what kind of storms you think and mostly sentimental home under end. Use a double and there's no swimming pool in the palace winning bowl, That spinning wheel, you dope, big men of Lehman. Or you know how temperamental musicians are. Especially bandleader Lima, not bandleader brought You should have on the end of the ah with that, you said five down government. Let's talk a look at them. He likes to nobody Forman worry about him. What's left when it was very nice of you to offer your services, but I've already asked Mary to sing a number I don't want tonight. Oh, come on, Mary. I'll tell you what. If you will sing the chorus, I will to You're not offended. Are you slept? I'm sorry. You made the trip for nothing. Who made it from nothing. I sold my food. Find a very good thing. Come on, Mary. You like here? Like here, Mary thing, Mary, today I like your baby. You're flying high. My mom crazy you got baby. That was really well. And you weren't nervous or anything? No. Now, all right. Now my course And I dedicated to Don Wilson. Come on, boys. You say the darndest things. Well, um, but oh, you're so dog gone cute with it. Oh, you always out to sell Jello and windows bring our summer our fall You always a strawberry You always say rat, you always a cherry, orange, lemon and line You nearly drive me nuts will, son, But all don't with what's going on in here. I heard that disturbance outside. Now whoever manipulating that fog on in here gotta cut it out. I live in regret locked, living your It isn't Moualem, Alison Allah. What's the idea of breaking in here in the middle of my singing? Singing? Yeah. Now, listen, Betty, I didn't mind it when you scrape that overnight bag two weeks ago and call that playing the B. But when you stand here tonight and set that hooping cough music on, call that singing You're going too far. Oh, you didn't like it, huh? Like it? Why you make Andy Devine sound like Lawrence Tibbett. I look here, Alan, I don't care what you say about my thinking or my violin playing on your own program. But when you come up here, be careful. After all, I've got listeners. Keep your family out of my family. My family liked my singing in my violin playing to your violin. You're using the booth If I was ah, hard. If I was a pony even and found out about out that my tail I found out that any part of my tail was being used in your violin bow. I hang my head in my oak bag. From then on, you listen to me your Wednesday night hawk another crack like that and found whole. Be looking for a new janitor. Why you fugitive from a Ripley cartoon? I oughta bend your nose around until if you want to smell anything, you'll have to crib. You hear? You lay a hand. Anything? Well, they accidentally will be better than hand on Benny. Be hollering strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and help the last mile of beauty. Keep this up and I'll ask Don Wilson the fall on you. Wilton falls on. You know what that means? Oh, why pressed Ham. Ah, girl! Marry that, honey. Quiet Power Power, Coward! And she doesn't mean that English. Enter Tina. No, l A lot. I'm up here attending to my own business is no place to settle our private affairs. How did you get in here without a pat? I made one at the doorman in your neck. Oh, I am a gentleman. Symptom of gun fight here, please. Why don't you go within the medicines you keep out of a few little spread? From now on, your life will be having both ends of the way. Goodbye. Thank you. Bye. Go, Lumberman. I wish you would follow him out less than cowboy. Why didn't you stay out in Hollywood where you don't be long before I heard you were coming out there to make a picture. That's why you ought to do very well, Mr Allen. Now that borders Karloff is in England. I saw your last picture. Lionel. Any You made a picture? Nobody knew what a low looked like on celluloid on. Maybe you didn't start bank night, but you've certainly kept it going. Yeah, well, three safe there waiting for your picture to be released. They're going to use it. That a capital punishment? Wow. Telling him, Jack Boot that fall there become Lyman. Look, what's going to make a picture? Fred Allen the Great. Both David and Taylor. Losing a lot of sleep right now. Not up there listening to this broadcast. Where you gonna live? In Hollywood, Mr Allen. At the ostrich farm. I made you laugh that you tell those birds gotta leg. Mom, I'm going to kiss you for that. Then I take it back. Oh, you do? Uh, yeah, she'd rather Kitson ostrich. And so what? I Well, I don't want this going a little too far. I didn't mind a little mud slinging now and then, but when you make those kind of remarks, that means fight where I come from. You mean your blood would boil if you had any on. I got just enough to resent that route. And I come from the way our booth and you will step out in the hallway. I'm ready to send a little affair, man A man. You are way. This will be the last number of the last programme on any jello Syria. Next week. The Yellow Program starring Mary Livingston. Come on, How long you want to go through with? I didn't come up here to get your autograph. I'll give you just one more chance to apologize. Apologize. Why? I'll knock you flatter than the first eight minutes of this program on their Allen, who touches a hair on Jack Gray head, has to find a first father living Remind that come on away. A Lima Sorry. Now I told my rolling way Hallelujah from Hit the Deck, played by the orchestra with a blind man that the baton and Betty and Alan at each other's throats out in the hallway. And the winner will tell his version on his own program. Next 29. 0, I don't know about that, Jack. Certainly take care of himself. It's Alan. He has to worry about he. I hope nothing happened either one of them, especially gas level. Pretty husky. Although Jack did look just a little bit worried. Jack doesn't care where they wins or not. He's gotta do bail on a hospital. Here they come. Now, many of those days. Where? God, Jackie. Remember that time in Toledo when you walk into the magician's dressing room and stole his pigeons? Do I? They tasted pretty good, didn't they? Ran bones. I got Did. Certainly. Ready. Remember the guy in the show with us who used to take in washing on the side? You know, the guy that did our laundry? Say what Ben Bernie doing now You've got a band. You know, Ben, Bernie. And all the sudden way. Plenty of those days, Freddie. But we did get a lot of land. Apparently did until we walked on the way. What happened to fight? What fight? They Freddie? Remember that five in South Bend, Indiana? We were going with 40 k. Kidding, fellas. What happened to that fight? Why, don, We were never serious about that. How did you get that black eye? Oh, this. Well, I was writing a letter. Yes, I accidentally dotted his I Wait a minute, Freddie, I slapped you more new to me. Look at your wrist. It's already Well, I made you say, uncle unquote when I pulled your hair. Uncle isn't the word. I'm quote, but let it go. There's a package dropping your way out of the hall. Yes, that's a box of candy. I was going to give Jack O ready. Can I be sure to take the square ones? Marry the round ones, have got some it in a way, friend, when you get home with that box of flowers I sent you was still kicking. Just put it in water. I will. And thanks for the tip. Yeah, Candies. Well, happy, Good chocolate. Wonderful flavor. What? Filled with Ready? I panicked. Well, I was going to brush my teeth anyway, I might as well eat. Jack, I've gotta go now. I've got a lot of work to do on my own program. Okay, Fred. Well, thanks for your kind Visit An apology. Wide apology. Let's not thought that again before you go, friend, I want to tell you that I didn't mind one thing you said about me during our few. You didn't. Why? No, I tell you, you said the darndest thing reading, but you were so dog gone cute with it all. You mean they really wacky. But you're Do I owe you some words you that I waas blood loves? You said I was by you and telling my peddling way we're so dog gone to with at all and now way I didn't know you could thing that good. Thanks, Jack. Well, I've got to leave you now And Oh, by the way, Mr Lyman Express. Now, listen, Tuffy, you you lay off of my pal Jack. Benny. That's him. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Play Lyman and watch your step. You heard what Alan said. Why a little thought off, punk, I'll take you in ST Patrick's Day is only three days away, So you better begin now to get together your shamrocks and Irish colors. And there's a Jell O dessert that has the touch of color. In keeping with the occasion called Emerald Fruit Cup, you make it this way just off one package of lime jello in one kind of hot water and then pour into a shallow pan. Jill until firm, and then cut the Jell O infused. Arranged the cubes of lime jello and service glasses alternating with grapefruit sections. Serve plane are borrowed, a distinctive touch all over each portion. Three or four tablespoons full of ginger ale. Refreshing lime jello with juicy grapefruit. That's a grand combination to start a dinner with and equally delicious dessert ever old for your ST Patrick's Day dinner, but be sure you make it with genuine lime Jell O or Lime Jello. Like all of Jell 06 Delicious flavors has that extra rich fruit taste passport jello by name and look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jello Wait with the last number of the 24 program in the new Jello Siri's and will be with you again next Sunday. Nine. Broadcasting from New York City and Mary, I want to tell you your song with Well, are you really glad that you made up with that, Alan? Certainly I am. Why now? I won't have to listen to its program to hear what he's saying about Good Night. Canada is made final month of playing time
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