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Mia Jackson - Snippet of her Stand-Up set

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Mia Jackson on flirting, prosthetic limbs and getting her confidence back
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right now for Miss Mia Jackson. Okay. Okay. So listen, I, I know that there are married people in here and I know that there's single people in here. But I realized that like, people don't really talk about this group and I just want to know where the people who are dating, but the ship is not going anywhere. Like where are y'all at? Because there we go. Who are y'all leaving? Like we just reached the impasse this ship. Is it like, who, who was like tonight was the night he was gonna work this out? But this is not the time we'll talk about it later. But I almost got married at 1.00 did and um, I do okay, I was engaged and I will say this like, like I missed that time in my life because people were nice to me and I went to the University of Georgia. So I know a lot of white people, which is fine. Uh no, I don't want you to feel triggered because I said white because sometimes when I say white people be like, oh, how are you gonna say white? And I'm like, like that white. So just a description. It's not, it's not a judgment on you. But um, one of my friends when she found out she was so happy and she was just like, oh my God, she's like, where are you getting married? And I was like, you know, probably right here in Atlanta and she's like, no, I know a beautiful place in south Georgia and it is the most awesome, beautiful plantation. No, no, nope. You're a bad white friend. Okay. Why would you make that suggestion? But then she tries to sell me on the benefits and she was like, well during the cocktail hour your guests can roam free, bitch, I'm free now. Like right now. I mean I don't know how long but for now. And then she goes, but here's the best part girl. They don't even throw rice. They throw cotton. What? No, no, no, no. I was like, you just offered me the slave package. All right. I gotta want this in my life. But then I got out of the relationship and um I had to try to flirt with people and I'm not a good flirt er Like I don't have the voice for it. I got this twain, you know, so, and I just I just don't have a sultry voice. And I also have real bad allergies and so right, you can't flirt with dudes. You can't be walking up and being like, hey, how you doing? Um What you, what is your name? What you say? Okay. Like nobody, nobody, nobody wants that. All right. This is what I learned. It. Don't matter how big your titties are. If your nose is running okay. Like nobody, nobody cares. They don't, they don't care. They don't and I never know when people are trying to flirt with me. I can never tell. I can never tell. So one day I'm at the gym. Right, I'm on the treadmill, I gotta turn all the way up to zero, but I do that for the resistance. So I'm just kind of like trying to build up my butt, but um I tripped and I fell off the machine. Okay, So I got it real fast and I ran to another section to make it seem like I was circuit training, so I just mhm. We just started, you know, running around the room just picking up random ship, you know? So I just picked up some weights because I'm embarrassed, like hopefully nobody, nobody saw me. But then this guy starts looking at me and I'm like, oh sh it I gotta start body rolling to entice him. So I'm kind of like, and he started pointing and I was like um I was like, oh are you are you looking at my legs? And he was like, yeah, because it's it's bleeding. I just saw you bust your assets across the room so like you need to clean that. Shut up. That's unsanitary. So okay, I was too scared to work out at first in front of people. So I just did it at home. I did on the original P 90 X. Is anybody familiar with that? It's an intense workout program that's designed to kill your ass at home. So um I I don't know if, do you know? Okay, so I did the original P 90 X and on day number two there is a man with a prosthetic limb. Oh right. And and it's it's right, thanks. So it's real, it is real. It is very real. It's inspirational as ship, okay? It is, it's so inspirational, but I could not make it through the program okay, like I got both my legs and I couldn't do it okay, but this dude is killing me, he's killing it, but I'm on the floor. Okay, I got my inhaler, I'm looking at pictures of my grandma like I'll see you soon, okay, but I'm gonna tell you this when you have passed out on the floor and you've lost oxygen. It's amazing how clear life becomes to you because that's when I realized that fake legs don't get tired, So that's how I got my confidence back. So I was like in your face, p 90 x.