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Overcoming Fear & Embarrassment As A Musician

From Audio: FMP 019 – Mackenzie Page

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station description The Freio Music Podcast: Musician Interviews - Featuring artists from around the w... read more
The Freio Music Podcast
Duration: 05:02
The secret if finally revealed. Both young and seasoned musicians will want to listen to this piece of great advice.
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The secret if finally revealed. Both young and seasoned musicians will want to listen to this piece of great advice.
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afraid to be bad at something, to suck at something like It's really it's kind of a thing that as we get older as adults, we kind of have more fear of sucking and stuff and like we should have everything figured out at some point. And I think I was just enough of like I wanted it bad enough that I didn't care to embarrass myself because that's I mean, that's the hard part. I think that's what I would tell Younger musician is like. You will have embarrassment and shame like that's a big part of any creative, any creative journey. You know, it's like you will have fear. You will have shame. You will have you no fear, fear again like really, But it's It's about learning how to take those things with you and to know an honor that those things are part of your journey. But then to also be like, but the music is more important. But like learning and and if you want it bad enough, that's more important, really. It's just I think I wanted to be able to accompany myself more than I cared about what other people thought, really, that's kind of like a thing I'm dealing with again. I would say, like, right now, I'm actually I'm still in lessons with guitar. I pay for guitar lessons by this awesome guy. And, um, I'm in a poetry class as well, so I think you're just you're never done learning in life. I mean, for me, it's just that that's like, part of my joy in life is just continually searching and like combing through different ideas so that I can, you know, make more stuff. But I you know, as far as the fear and all of that, like, I have a lot of that right now because I'm putting out a new record that's completely different than than anything gypsy moons ever done. And, you know, it's like I kind of will have moments where I'm like, Oh, fuck, like, should I put this out? Probably not. Should I? I don't know. Like people are gonna like it. People are gonna hate it, and I just have to keep coming back to myself of like, it doesn't fucking matter what people think. Like that isn't my job as an artist. My job as an artist has nothing to do pass the moment. I put something out, and I think that's important, too. Two young players to because it's especially difficult when you're playing live because you're getting a direct feedback. So that's almost like, more terrifying because you can see on people's faces if they're digging it or not. As far as that goes, I played two enough empty rooms to the point where I just don't like whatever like I don't care, really. But like with putting out because this records taken me, it would have been a year and like a couple months by the time it's out, and that has been a year of like sitting in my room just being like, Oh my God, I'm so terrified, you know. But at the same time, I asked myself, Okay, so, like, what if you don't What if you just give up? Like what? If you didn't do music, would you still want to do it like, you know, asking yourself or like another thing, too? I ask myself, is like, What if you put this record out and like nothing happens? Nobody cares. Nothing comes from it. Would you still do it? And I keep coming back to like, yeah, I'd still do it. And honestly, like at this point, I'm like, What's next? Like, I'm ready to do the next one because this is in the final mixing stages, So it's really out of my hands at this point. But I was like, You know, I kept asking myself the specific questions and I think, like, especially if you're gonna really, like put stuff out there in the creative world, you have to ask yourself like what you want from it. What are you asking your of yourself for it, you know. So it's like with even some of my poems trying to get some of my poems published right now. And it's like rejection after rejection and you're just, like, comes back and I hit it right back out, you know, and I think that's important just to have this like, dogged determination. And I think that's what got me through learning guitar, because it's insanely frustrating, like people are like, Oh, don't you love practicing like No, I don't I don't like sitting there reading tablature or not even tablature, but I'm doing notation right now, like classical stuff. I hate it I'm like sitting there like it's like you can feel your brain like sludge ng through it, trying so hard to make sense of it and like, I'll do it for like 25 minutes and then be like, Alright, I'm done like That's it. I'm done. I'm gonna go write a song now because that's the fun part for me. But the practicing part, you know, it was like the lessons and flamenco guitar crazy, frustrating, like I would leave sometimes just being like Fuck this, like over it like fuck this. And that's why I would go then bust and I'd play old jazz tunes and whatever I wanted because they also Granada has these, like skinny little walkways, gorgeous reverberation from the from the walls. It's just like the best. It's like singing with the microphone with that one. Get a natural effect. Yeah, it really comes down to, like, dogged determination to where, like people talking shit, the shame, the fear, like at some point, all of that coming at you like you still don't care and you'll still make the art that you want to make. That's it. Really, that's great. I appreciate that message and
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