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Parenting Gets Easier, Right with Taylor and Heidi Calmus on The Holderness Family Podcast

From Audio: Parenting Gets Easier, Right? with Taylor and Heidi Calmus

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station description The real-life ups and downs of living, working, and raising kids together, in a fu... read more
The Holderness Family Podcast
Duration: 14:47
Kim and Penn Holderness play a game “Would You Rather?”
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Kim and Penn Holderness play a game “Would You Rather?”
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for the space and that's totally okay. Yeah, but I'm glad you brought him up because I did want to segue to sort of the crux of what we wanted to talk about today, which is the different seasons of parenting and the fact that kim and I have noticed that the goalpost keeps getting moved, like we keep thinking, oh our kids are going to be an autopilot, we're pretty much done with them and we keep finding all these new challenges were in different seasons here and we always say it's going to get better, you know, when they sleep through the night or they aren't breastfeeding and then, so I really didn't, I really did call my mom one time when Lola was a newborn, I'm like, you know, as soon as she'll sleep through the night, I think I'm good. Like I can stop worrying about her and stuff when she sleeps through the night. She's like, oh dear. She's like, wait till she starts driving. I'm like, what? And so I didn't realize when I took on this parenting thing that you're always gonna worry about them. And my mom, she's like, when you're in your 40s and I worry about you, I'm like, what? I had no idea what I was signing up for. So let's go back, let's go back to Taylor and Heidi which were I guess they're us 10 years ago at this point, Is that where we are, that your baby's how's it going, guys Going from 2-3 kids tell me what's that, like she's not drinking wine. That's water. Okay. It's water. It's hard. I feel at this point like it's just normal for us to be taking on too much at once. But we were supposed to start shooting season two of our tv show Super Dad this last spring. But I was like, oh snap, my wife's having a baby in the spring so we can't do that so we need to push it a couple of months. So they did. So basically we had the baby had like Basically two months off, which and then we started shooting a Tv show but it wasn't like two months off because as you know, in order to keep a page alive, you need a video every single week. So if I'm gonna be gone for seven weeks, we need seven extra videos. It was like have a baby, shoot seven extra videos, finish a couple of renovation projects and Go, it's been just handling juggling all that. But in terms of like going from 2-3, like what I found first off, he's an amazing baby. She's been sitting here the whole time out of that too. Heidi being home because you know, she spends so much time with him and nurses him and all of the, all of the good stuff. So like he's just, I Did that with my kids and they were terrible. So yes, I give Heidi a 100% of the credit. But I also think you have a magic baby because he's been sitting here the whole time and he hasn't done anything. So he's just chill. Yeah, just is here for it. I think that's the difference with your third though. Like there's so much going on around him that he's just, he's like what, few of you, but he's just like whatever, I don't need to, I just slide right in and I feel like he's just kind of like here for whatever it is, you know, he's been chilled but the two older kids like love on him all the time and stuff. But what I found in the transition for me, it's been a lot of like Heidi is busy with the baby. So I spent a lot more time with the two older kids taking them out of the house and getting them like, you know, getting them wore out or whatever. It's just like every single day is trying to fill the hours, you know, trying to make it to bedtime, how long until bedtime. So we're in different stages of parenting. So that would be fun to play a little. Would you rather game um from where you guys are? I love that and comparing where you guys are, where we are, you guys are quick on your feet if you want to add some of these, go for it okay, But we'll start what's interesting about this is you, you've been through our stage, we don't know your stage, we could like guess, but we have no idea how it actually feels okay. And if you choose one way and we have a different opinion, we'll tell you all about it. I'll be happy to tell you Okay, here we go. We're all playing. Yes. Would you rather change a newborn blowout diaper or or I wouldn't even say like a six month blowout diaper because those are worse because those are like adult newborns are like, they're not like Green with chunks and like a 20 White like in public into solid foods. Yeah, in public, like in a in a gross like bathroom or help a middle schooler with a math word problems. Uh do the diaper. I might do the math. Okay. Yeah, they're both terrible. He yeah, they're not learning math the way that we used to like that's the really tough part and you like ask them to show their work. And it's it's nuts, they don't do long division, they don't add the way that we used to. It's probably smarter the way that we're doing it. But I like I was a mathlete. I have a trophy like in the attic behind me, a math frickin trophy and I'm having trouble with this. So I'm going to go with the diaper, although I like maybe honestly maybe Heidi's just going to be a great teacher. Yeah, I could see a kind patient teacher. They're both terrible. But so here's I do remember just the anxiety of like the public blowout, like that's that's pretty terrible too. And in both cases kim you have said, you know what, you have to deal with this and handed Them to me, that's 100%. And I dealt with a with a blowout diaper a couple weeks ago because I had the kids by myself when we were at Target and naturally naturally blue, he had a blowout. I swore that I had a change of clothes for him. Did not also didn't have a diaper because I had used it the day before. And as I gentry pack. So what did you do? Well, yeah, I mean, your shirt, I walked to the back of target, like kind of just put him back in the stroller, walked back to the diaper area and the closed area and I bought a pack of diapers and a new outfit. Okay, That's similar to like, men have had that happen before where they like, you know, they, they realized that they, you know, they pooped a little when they thought it was a fart. And wait, is that just me? Taylor? I mean, I could tell stories like there's, there's this thing where you think, okay, that's a far and you're like, wait, that's something else, and then you have to find a way to dispose of that. Um And for, you know, for guys, it's easier because you can, I can't believe I'm telling this uh story and that's the thing and like you go to like a public stalling, like I'm just going to dispose of these, but then I can't put them like in a regular trash can because what if somebody sees it? This is just me and they say penn Holderness on the, on the waistband because I, you know, my wife likes to put, you know, a sharpie, my name on the sharpie in the back of my underwear. You leave for one minute. I start talking about pooping and having to throw my underwear away in about so high schooling, parenting, our daughter just called while that happened. So uh everything okay. She's fine. She plays tennis and she is a match and like, and she's like, I forgot my uniform. I'm like, I'll get it, I'll get it, we're almost done. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's fine. I'll bring her the skirt, It's my day to go. So well I know because I've got track tomorrow. So I've got to go to see the okay, anyway, we're, you know, we're going to take her time. Would you rather potty? This is gonna be a tough, would, would you rather potty train a toddler or teach a teenager how to drive a car, drive the car, drive the car was looking forward to that. I think. What do you think Heidi? We're going, I'm going to go and drive the car because potty training has brought me to my wits end, We've been potty training the same kid for two years. Yeah, we've been there too. And there's and sometimes like there there's the scared of pooping and then because we had that with one of them and then when it does come out it comes out like with just great density and firmness, stuff. Like I dream about that last night. We did not. And then you woke up with a full diaper, Hang on. It's important to talk about your dreams. Um, I think we're not quite two teen driving, which is, I'm very afraid of that, but potty training day brought me to my knees. Yeah, I just, I was like, I went to school. I am an educated person, but I cannot like, I was so filled with rage and confusion. Yeah, I think that's a little bit of an upset. Yeah, that's a bit of an upset. I thought I'm with you too. I think we're all answering the same way because you just took me back you guys to what it was like for us and it was terrible. And then you can't go anywhere if you go anywhere. You like hacking a potty and like extra clothes and then there's a picture of Lola, We went to this. Um we were like looking for a place for her to, I had to poop. Oh my God, this is the funny, I had to poop, Lola had to poop. It was beginning GPS days and kim's like, oh look, there's a sign for there's a speed track, which is the name of a famous um, race race race track is in florida. Racetrack is a gas station. And I said, oh look, there's a race track off the side of the road and there'll be a bathroom and it was an actual racetrack. Like old racetrack. It was closed. It was like a really no one had been there in like decades. It was, I don't know why they would have a signed for it. So we put Lola outside on our little plastic potty little plastic travel potty. So there's a picture of her. But then I had to poop too. So I found two old tires that I stacked on top of each other, um, in the middle of the raceway. And then I just, I mean, kim's like, what if someone finds that? I'm like kim no one's coming back here and it was bad. No, it wasn't a whole, it was that wasn't a whole, it was in the middle of the parking lot. It was on, it went. But then, but then luckily we have the baby wipes from our kids. Okay, all right. Would you rather go to Pop Patrol live or an imagine dragons concert. Imagine dragons. Imagine dragons. Imagine dragons. So, I'm going to go with that. Anything I'm embarrassed to say, my answer is paul Patrol life. I love dragons isn't that bad. I love our son is there, our son is super into imagine dragons, like it's the only thing he's listened to for the last two years and I learned after one day that it's the same song over and over again. Okay. Whatever It takes, I'm a David, it's where they go. It's like, it's the same, there's, there's 14 of the same songs and very talented wrong. I love spending time with my kids, but I also feel like just going to a concert with your kids, it's just a totally different like vibe, you know, because like when you go to a concert, you're like, you want to just kind of feel like wild and free. But if you're in your dad pants, you're taking a dumbo while you're there right required to wear the dumb shorts and the whole thing. I like those concerts. I liked it when we went to that weird Dora concert and then we got to meet the weird door in the back. Okay, would you rather Dora? The Dora? This is a good one. Would you rather a terrible twos meltdown or console the teenage heartbreak Oh, console a teenager after heartache, Yeah, dumped teenager or a terrible, like a public terrible arch back meltdown. You know what? I would rather go with the arch back meltdown because I thought about this a lot and I was a very sensitive teenager and my son, you can already tell he's super sensitive. So I just like, I know that at some point he's gonna have his heart broken and it's going to be the worst because I won't know how to convince him that it's fine, and that will last a lot longer than the toddler meltdown. You know? The toddler meltdown, I can throw them under one arm, I can walk out and then, you know, you will eventually settle down and we'll have ice cream. The interesting thing is that in both situations, the person having the meltdown knows exactly how to hurt you. The two year old knows they know they're getting your attention by screaming and throwing a fit. I would I would do 1000 a 1000 terrible to meltdowns before a teenager, those are rough. Yeah, super rough. And pc had like, a third grade heart ache. Like, this girl that they had had crushes on each other, and then she sent a friend to say, I don't want to be like, I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore, even though we're like, you can have a girlfriend, you're in first grade, but they were each other's like, little people, he came home and it was the worst anyway, so I'm not looking for it's going to happen because it's life and if it doesn't happen, that's weird. So the only reason I would pick the second one is because that would mean that my Children actually came to me about it because they always go to kim like, little lola. Like it always like it's always going to mom about that. She won't come to me which is a bummer. Well, she probably just thinks you're going to tell her story about poop to try to cheer. I don't disagree that I don't do as good a job kim does. I think you're all represent right. All right. Last one guys, would you rather send your child to kindergarten for the first time or to college for the first time kindergarten? You just sent just someone I had I would have made this post when theo turned 10 weeks old that um, I was sad because I was going to have to leave him and go to work and I didn't know how it was going to deal when I had to say goodbye to him when he went to college and someone commented, it was like, that's why you have the teenagers trust me when they're ready to go to college you'll be ready to. Yeah, I love my kids. Uh and I should have said college for the last time, like last kid out into college. I hear I hear the empty nest thing. I understand. I will probably deal with it. I will totally cry. But you guys. But I mean, I've already thought of like maybe just drive him to college and then just go, never come back to the airport and go to Hawaii for a while. Well that was a fun little that was a fun game. Well, let's have a transition moment. Yes, I want to hear about transition.
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