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Radio Jupiter Intercepts Night Vale's News Broadcast

From Audio: 174 - Radio Jupiter
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Radio Jupiter mysteriously intercepts the Night Vale radio signal and disrupts the daily newscast. Who is this person? What spaceship are they on and what did they find? Listen to find out.
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This is radio Jupiter calling all cars. All spaceships better. Can you hear me? Okay. My producer is giving me the signal that we are now back on the air. Sorry about that. Not sure what that other signal was, but it completely took over hours, which is rude. We're currently looking for the source of the signal. We've narrowed it down to up just right up there somewhere, beaming on down to us. But we're back in control and we do not expect any more interruptions. Of course, we didn't expect that interruption either. I don't expect almost anything that happens to me. My life is full of mystery and surprise. As is yours, I'm sure. But still, we seem to have this one technical issue addressed. With that settled, I think we can get to the news. Our top story concerns Susan Willman. Okay, sure. There has been a lot of talk in town since the whole incident with the obelisk in which Susan Willman learned the name of an immortal, all knowing being. This name now exists in her head. An object of great power reverberating through her thoughts. She has withdrawn from her duties as director of the Night Vale Community Theater and the Night Vale P. T. A darn will miss her and her prosaic, muddled staging and grandstanding about home work. Life balance. Susan has instead taken residence in a booth at the Moonlight all Night diner, there at all hours, toying with a half drunk coffee and playing with the reflection of the sun in the back of a spoon. At night. The mint light of the sign outside send strange shadows across her face, and her friends say they sometimes don't recognize her at all. Steve Carlsberg, who is taking over her role at the Night Vale Community Theater, went to talk to her about some finer details of the casting process and said that she was less than helpful. She was weeping, and the only thing she said the entire time he was there was that she was afraid to speak, lest the awful name slipped past her lips. No one was meant to carry such death inside of them, she whispered, and then said no more. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah, makes total sense, said Steve as he worked down some invisible pie. Well, I think we've given Susan enough attention for now. Moving on. In other news, the new beer cave that the Ralphs has been closed for repairs due to occasional time loop issues reported by certain customers. Manager at the Ralphs Dave Bowl issued a statement by spelling out words with cantaloupes in the parking lot, saying Everything is fine with the beer cave. It's a great and refreshing addition to Night Vale. Please don't go inside or even look at it as we don't know why it's doing what it's doing. Everything is fine. Please stay safe and stay away. Dave then rearranged the cantaloupes to create complex fractal designs that made me dizzy to gaze upon, but we're beautiful. Nonetheless, When reached out for a comment, Ralph's corporate said they had no records of any branch in a town called Night Vale. And we're tired of receiving prank calls with bizarre tales about a made up store. When provided with pictorial evidence of Night, Vale, a representative at Ralph's corporate, began to bleed from the eyes while shouting, This can't be real, My God, this can't be real more on the story of the beer cave. If anything, they're not sure if any of this is getting through, but continuing to narrate on the off chance anyone will hear this and come, you know, to collect me. I've been doing some digging through this spaceship and I'm disturbed by what I found.