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Episode 22 of 137

Retired UFC Fighter Eliot Marshall on Fear, Depression, & True Strength - The ROI Online Podcast Ep. 22

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The ROI Online Podcast
Duration: 54:28
What’s true strength: beating up a tough opponent, or admitting the tears you shed when the fights are over?On this episode of the ROI Online Podcast, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt Eliot Marshall shares the many lessons he’s learned as a bullied kid turned UFC fighter turned business owner—and how
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What’s true strength: beating up a tough opponent, or admitting the tears you shed when the fights are over?On this episode of the ROI Online Podcast, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt Eliot Marshall shares the many lessons he’s learned as a bullied kid turned UFC fighter turned business owner—and how these lessons apply to life outside of the ring as well.Since he was a young kid, the only place Eliot felt like he fit in was the Martial Arts Academy. He struggled to make friends at school, and with his half-Black half-Jewish heritage, found himself the victim of bullies more than once. But fighting was a way to work through his pain and fear. It became his passion, and he grew stronger, he turned that passion into a career.During fights, the fear of death creates an adrenaline rush unlike anything else. Eliot felt alive, strong, and free. But, while fear was his greatest strength in the ring, it makes life outside the academy very difficult. He has struggled with constant anxiety and dark episodes of depression. Fighting isn’t a life-long gig. Eventually, you get to a place where you need to start something new. For Eliot, that something new was his own Martial Arts Academy, the Easton Training Center in Colorado. He began teaching his skill to others. As rewarding as teaching was, he still found himself in the depths of depression. He stayed up late, crying and wrestling with the pain inside of him. His students stayed with him during that period. Their late-night phone calls and weekly support kept him going.Eliot believes what really makes a man isn’t how hard he can punch or how much he can take. It’s showing up, setting an example, and sharing the highs and the lows. It’s easy to pretend like everything is fine, but acknowledging when you’re hurting and when you’ve messed up is much more difficult. He practices this regularly with his kids.Eliot shares his story in his book, The Gospel of Fire. He also hosts a podcast of the same name. His school has become one of Colorado's leading martial arts schools, with 7 locations across the Denver area.You can learn more about Eliot here:https://eliotmarshall.com/Listen to Eliot’s podcast: https://eliotmarshall.com/category/podcasts/Read Eliot’s book: The Gospel of Fire: Strategies for Facing Your Fears, Confronting Your Demons, and Finding Your PurposeRead the books referenced in this podcast:The Four Agreements by Don Miguel RuizGet your copy Steve Brown’s book, The Golden Toilet. Also available on Audible for free when you sign up for a 30-Day Trial Membership!Thinking of starting your own podcast? Buzzsprout’s secure and reliable posting allows you to publish podcasts online. Buzzsprout also includes full iTunes support, HTML5 players, show statistics, and WordPress plugins. Get started using this link to receive a $20 Amazon gift card and to help support our show!Support the show (https://cash.app/$stevemfbrown)
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Mhm. So let's talk about after a loss one of your losses. Yeah. How do you do a healthy self evaluation of assessment of what you did, right and what you did wrong and how do you trust yourself that you're doing it healthy or being too hard on yourself or not being hard enough talking about fighting just about how do you handle that conversation in your head? Well, you drink a lot with fighting and you shouldn't because you're probably concussed. Um You cry, you don't sleep uh with fighting. It's the darkest cloud you've ever had over your head. You know, you've never if you know, it's like someone died, it's it's literally like someone died. Um It's very hard to get away from. Um Yeah, yeah, you have some loving, you get up, man, you just get up uh you just get up and fight again, you just get up, you you walk back in the gym like, I don't know what else to say, You just and I don't know if it's something innate in us that we do, that we do it, that we could, you know? Uh But yeah, as far as business goes, uh so easy for me after fighting, I have to say, you know, like, and and not even after fighting, it's so easy for me because I'm not I'm not stuck and trapped in the hell of my own mind anymore, like, and that's the worst place, right? Like when I'm when you're when you know, when I when I go back to my 2016, when I broke down, there was no reason, man, like, it wasn't like the business was failing, it wasn't like my wife was leaving me, none of my kids were sick, nothing, absolutely nothing. Just straight anxiety straight like, yo you know this devil that's that, that you have been beating down, Oh, he ain't going anywhere right now, He's here, he's gonna sit on your shoulder and he's not gonna go anyway, there was no reason for me. My business was growing thriving employees, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, nice dude, I just got back, I just gotten back from a two Week Hawaiian vacation, you know, like there's no reason to be up all night crying, so when you can deal with that, like as far as that man, everything else just just quieter, you know? So was it that you met this competitor, This opponent that you never really fought before, that you didn't know how to prepare for this? No, it was that I had met him a bunch of times. I had just masked it with fighting. I had masked this competitor with fighting because I gave myself reasons to be nervous and scared, really scared like a fight or whatever, you know, And and the real deal demon of my life when I was really scared of, which was me and who I was and maybe what a piece of shit I was or maybe how weak I was or how no one liked me and no one was going to like me and everyone was going to leave me and then this is going to get a little dark and deep for a second my whole life, I was told that Hitler was going to come again because I grew up with holocaust survivors, you know? So That that was happening, No one would be there to help me and that I would be all alone, Right? Because I had no friends growing up like two. And so I'd be all alone by myself. So I would, you know, so I would try to scream at how tough I was. That's probably why I went into fighting in the first place, you know? And then when you fight it's shown that you're like, if you're not the champ, if you don't retire, the champ, will someone fuck you up? So you ain't that tough? Right? Um and here it was, so now you can't run away from it, It's right there everyone for the world to see, you can go on Wikipedia and you can look at my record, you know? So, mm now I gotta deal with Elliot. So it wasn't it wasn't an opponent, it was me, that's that is our biggest enemy, is ourself. It's our greatest asset to, you know, you can't if you can get away from the flip side, the head, the head and the tails, the indian, the yang, you know, my anxiety like who I am, it makes me amazing, It makes me amazing. But it's also what makes them fucking terrible
how do you prepare? How do you prepare to lay everything on the line, over and over, break. You have to break in the preparation? You have you have to have died in preparation, you have to think I can't do this anymore. And then once you think you can't, once you break the person you build them back up so that they know that they can do it, that they can overcome because the mind gets your mind that breaks your body, doesn't break your mind is what goes, I can't do this, you know? And then once and here's the people thing again, this is why you need a camp, this is why you need a team. This is why you need a good trainer. They pick you up and they say oh yes you can right, they go oh yes you can one more round, right give me one more minute, Give Me 10 more seconds. And then when you can do that the line of once you do it, right? When you think you couldn't you're done, you're broken, you're dead. The line of what you can do just got pushed back and then it gets pushed back and then it gets pushed back. So it's never ending. Just like in your business what you think you're capable of achieving, You know? Okay, I wanna I wanna get to $100,000 in revenue. Fuck Yeah, that would be amazing, Right? And then you're stuck at 80,000, you know? And then boom, oh and you see it, you see a light, you're like oh my God, look at that, we're podcasting, right? You know? Okay get 1000 downloads a month. God, that's amazing. A 1000 downloads. That's great. I'm never gonna get to 10,000, I'm never gonna get to 4000. Oh my God. Holy shit. Here I am. You know? And then the line gets pushed back but now there's a double edged sword to that line. Like as far as like business goes right? Because then you start chasing that high mm right? You start chasing that. Oh shit I'm the man, I'm at 10,000. Right? How many downloads? How many uh you know when you start to attach yourself to the to that? Yeah right? It's it's it's the it's the ying and the yang of everything. You know you have to be able to chase a goal. But no that that's not you.
when you say dying, you got to get comfortable with dying. What does that mean? Where describe it for a guy like me, I die sometimes in running a business or or just laid it out on the line but failed. What does that mean dying? Yeah. So dying. I'm talking about really dying right? I'm talking about you have to get good. So every everyone can understand the notion of getting in a fight right? Or everyone either has been in one or has almost been in one. Let me put a date and a time in an opponent on that where you know you have to show up. That's so you know and you know it could be 15 minutes longer, 25 minutes long depending on if it's a title fight, You got to get good with it. Like you have to do whatever you have to do to when you walk in there and it might if that means it's the last 15 minutes of your life then it's the last 15 minutes of your life like that. That is that is the preparation. And you have to realize that your life mom, it's not futile, but you could leave it at any point, right? You can always leave life at any point. So what what better one than this one man, you know?
you know, when I watch your interviews with the other guys that have been in the ring, that have done what you've done, your face lights up when you guys connect on on this experience that no one else would understand. And so even though you had this business, this thing that's bigger than youth with these two guys, you went through a similar crucible with them? No. Yeah, so there ain't nothing like fighting in the whole world, man. You know, if we're going to talk about it, I come, there's a lot of things that are hard. Mhm. Right, there's a lot of things that are hard, but unless you unless you get good with dying with what you're about to go do, because that's what you gotta do to fight, You got to get good with dying, um you know, and then the people that go through that with you, that's what it is, you know, you'll never you'll never forget them, they're a part of you for the rest of your life, no matter how it ends. And everybody that you fought, everyone that you stood in that in that cage of that ring with their part of you forever. Like they have a piece of you and you have a piece of them, you know? It's a it's a it's art, it's a very beautiful thing. I know it looks violent but you know uh I'm kind of a stoic buddhist I would say is what I am that you know, I don't know what uh you know my mom's, my mom's a jew that her parents survived the holocaust and my dad's black. There ain't many like me, you know, so so I don't know what the hell I am bro. Um There's there's yeah there's just something, there's something where you know, it's it's you them and God and I don't really say God in the in the sense that everyone thinks of it as you know, but you guys are there together
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