157 Listens
Last
Played: February 25, 2022
This 5 minutes of Molly Ann Hale's Stand-up is snipped from her Dec. 11 2021 Thalia Comedy Show. Molly co-hosts the monthly comedy showcase with her co-producer Sarafina Rodriguez at The Glendale Room in Glendale, California.
Updated Date: Feb 25, 2022
Publish Date: Jan 21, 2022
This 5 minutes of Molly Ann Hale's Stand-up is snipped from her Dec. 11 2021 Thalia Comedy Show. Molly co-hosts the monthly comedy showcase with her co-producer Sarafina Rodriguez at The Glendale Room in Glendale, California.
nine. But it's been a while since I've had sex. My ex husband's here, so I'm not going to say how many here's um Yeah, today though, I got super horny, you guys Super freaking horny looking at a picture of a hamburger or a hot dog, not a sausage. Just a real sloppy, juicy hamburger. And I've been enjoying my apocalypse. I don't know about you guys watching a lot of Rupaul's drag race. Who's with me? Best freaking tell. I mean, I cannot consume it fast enough. I love it all. Rupaul's drag race America. Rupaul's drag race UK. Rupaul's drag race in Australia. It's like they cannot make enough, you know what I mean? Keep it going. Rupaul's drag race inmates. Rupaul's drag race homeless guys. Rupaul's drag race babies. Put those babies in some fake butts and make them do the split. You guys sometimes Rupaul is like in a suit, it's got pineapples. He's wearing a mustache and you're like, oh my God, then smash cut, He's in a dress. He's wearing high heels and you're like, this is the sexiest woman I have ever fantasized having a threesome with a hamburger, right? Mm hmm. Yeah. Oh my God, I love watching tv. It makes the pain go away. Who likes hoarders? It's okay. I love hoarders. You guys. I love hoarders, no judgment. There's hoarding in my family, but hoarders rules. Alright. And honestly they've taken it up a notch with the mega hoard. I am obsessed about how they talk about the mega horde, the mega hoard is wide. The mega horn is thick the mega. Hoard is growing and it's coming for your job, you guys, I feel so good about my life when I watch this show. So there's one woman, God bless, she wins the lottery. $1 million. Guess what? She spends it on teddy bears, teddy bears. Oh I'm so happy. Another another woman, she hoards cats. No big whoop de do. But the thing is it doesn't matter if they're alive or if they're dead so they go to clean out her fridge. Guess what? They find a dead cat soup? Dead cat soup. Yes. Oh my gosh, I immediately called my mother crying tears of joy. You should love me more, you should love me so much more. Oh my gosh takes the pain away. My my grandma was a hoarder. She hoarded newspapers. It's a very specific kind of hoarding. It's cool. My grandfather, he was an enabler who wants to marry an enabler one day, please universe send me an enabler. Yes my grandmother, she had so many newspapers. The family got mad because they're like you're gonna burn the house down L. A. And my grandfather was like, it's no problem, we'll just build a house in the backyard for the newspapers. He built the house in the backyard for the newspapers. You guys, some people do not even have a place to live themselves. My grandmother had a house for her psychosis. That's living, okay. That is fucking living. Yeah, thank you. I know what you guys are saying, You're saying molly, you should really have Children. Yeah, I hear you on that, I hear you on that, but I'm not going to have Children because I don't like mornings, okay? Yeah, or snot covered things, okay. And I am one of the chosen people, not because of my religion or anything, but just because I don't have kids, it just makes me happier, You know, it makes me a little bit cheerier and that's the kind of vibe they want heaven, you know what I mean? Just like we can go on a trip anytime we want, just makes us so joyful.