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Ari Shaffir Describes The Worst Kind of Dog Owner

Last Played: November 15, 2021
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In this snippet, Ari Shaffir and his guest talk about walking dogs and the worst types of dog owners. Ari gives advice on how to be a decent human being when owning a dog. They also talk about being a dog walker versus being homeless.
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eso I've never had stuff like that. I've had more stuff like I'm walking my dog and people walk their dogs off the leash and somebody attacks my dog like there's this lady on my block has, like a tiny terrier. I'm not scared the dog, but you walk it off the leash. And I was like, Hey, like, screaming I want because I'm like her dogs coming over and they're like a little like Yippie dog that's gonna bite my dog and I go, Hey, she's like, It's not gonna do anything. I'm like, No, but if it does, I'm going to kick your dog. So now I mean her Don't say hi to each other like well, like, see each other. Just look the other way on. My friend was like, set me up with her. She has a fat ass. I was like, Fuck that cunt. She could get hit with her fat ass. I don't care, but yeah, like now I won't talk to her. I want Meanwhile, her dog was well trained and wasn't gonna do anything Well, Don't know. Once a like kind of hip embark it so I don't know if it was gonna bite or not, But like I am. But also, the more that user gets attacked orbit, the more tepid will be around other dogs. Because it's like we were talking about today. It's like I guess kids have never been hurt by somebody e I don't want her going through. Once I do get hurt, they'll never be normal again. She has had such a nice life. No, thanks. I am dog police, though it makes me very annoyed. One time I seen a guy, he had this pit bull Just take a big shit by the park. Just leave it. Yeah, I e no, but so I go, Hey, he was He looked back at me and I go, he goes, Hey, and I said, Hey, like I'm talking and he comes back, he goes, What? I go, you're just gonna leave your dog shit there? And he came over to me is like, Are you serious right now? I'm like, Yeah, I'm like, you leave your dog shit there. And then my dog goes to shit, and then she steps in the shit and you got annoyed at me. And Mad is pretty big Puerto Rican, dude, or something. But he did go in the house and come out, and I saw him pick up the shit. You should. Of course you should. There was trying to think like what happened to your dog Takes a shit and you don't have a bag. You know that does happen. Sure. Okay, it does happen. But what you can dio walked into the block, get bag and come back. You know, it doesn't have to be like it's done. It's like somebody is going to walk in this If not today. Tomorrow it's in the middle of sidewalk. There is. You're gonna ruin someone's day because your self absorbed there was another guy that's on my block. Who's our fucking Ah, liar. And he go. He's his big white dog. Took a big shit, and I go, Hey, man, you just you're not gonna pick up your dog? Shit, he goes. Oh, it's the second shit. I was like, like the dog shit once already. And I picked up a meeting. I don't have a bag for the surprise second shit. So I go, Oh, you need to back here. And I opened my car, but I gave him a bag. But I was so annoyed by it, it's like that passive aggressive things like picking up someone's trash that you saw litter and like, Oh, you drop this. You see, it's like a fucking rapper like, Oh, yeah, Trash comes over there, not over here on the street. I also do litter, though, so e just like throwing a piece of paper out. It doesn't bother me, but, like shit that, like, my dog has to step in and get it in my house or something steps in it. You're going to ruin. Of course I'll walk into a restaurant. We saw this massive ship and all these Asian people are passing the world like laughing. Oh, it smelled. Then we kept walking on the block and we saw clearly the dog. It was It was one of those, like the forefoot dogs, you know, like a massive dog. And it was definitely one of those little log, you know. And I didn't say anything to him. And then like we went and got launch and came back and someone had stepped in it. We started different footprints and dragon like you've ruined someone's day. You were in someone shoes. Yeah, because you're just in self like self is not even selfish. It's not selfish. Selfish is like I want this. I don't care who else this is like, You're not getting anything out of this. Well, they don't have to pick shit up. Yeah, I mean, are you walking someone else's dog for the first time? And you're, like, grossed out by it. I had a friend that your dog. I had a friend that's, like, struggling financially for money and like, he's worried about being homeless. And I was like, and he's a smart guys like a lawyer down south and up here. He doesn't have his license. I was like, Like, at one point, he was like, I don't know what to do. I might be. I go go walk dogs. And he was like, E can't pick up Shit. I go. So you'd rather be homeless sleeping on the streets with shit with shit? Yeah, E You know what it is to at some point, you just got to say to people, All right, man, that's
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