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Snippet of Everything is Alive: Emmy, Pregnancy Test

From Audio: Emmy, Pregnancy Test

Duration: 05:47
Imagine a world where the toaster talks back. That's the premise behind Everything is Alive, a comedy podcast where even innate objects get a voice. In this snippet, Emmy the Pregnancy Test shares her hilarious enthusiasm about coming out of the box and just trying to stay positive.
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Imagine a world where the toaster talks back. That's the premise behind Everything is Alive, a comedy podcast where even innate objects get a voice. In this snippet, Emmy the Pregnancy Test shares her hilarious enthusiasm about coming out of the box and just trying to stay positive. Emmy understands fulfilling her greatest purpose involves urination and, well, delivering life-altering news in an instant.
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Yeah, Heads up. This episode is an interview with a pregnancy test. There's nothing objectionable or explicit, but it does acknowledge that reproduction is a thing that said, Here's the show. My first memory. I lived in a It's called Rite Aid. I don't know if you've heard of it. Um, but I lived in It's an Isle of Rite Aid called Feminine Care. And I lived there for a long time, but it But you did get purchased. Yeah, it just happened. It was so wild because this lady put her hand on like all my neighbors, like, she touched all of us. And she was reading our backs and she went with me, and I was just blown away. It's sort of it's a blessing and a curse, you know, because getting to leave, We I don't really know what's out there. I mean, I know what's in my instructions. I know what can happen to us. Um, I know that eventually if everything goes according to plan, I'm going to get peed on. Yeah, My name is Emmy. I'm a pregnancy test. Do you just for I guess, our listeners that can't see you. Do you just want to describe what you look like for us? Sure, sure. Well, I live in a box. So a lot of people I haven't shown my form in the world before, I guess. But you can tell from the picture on the box. I think I'm tall and, uh, sort of slender, and I've got a very long neck. So you live in a box? Yes. I have instructions to It's not just me. Well, I first thought I would start by asking you some questions about babies, but you actually, despite what you do, you actually interact with adults a lot more than babies. Do you? Do you have a sense for what babies are like? Yeah, I know. It's like a small I've seen them in the aisle before, and they're like, they're like, little people that can't do anything. I think I understand them as little people that, uh, they make noise. They don't really help with anything. Yeah, so So what? You're like, I've never seen a baby like refill the stock of pregnancy tests, right? Right. But I understand also that they're they're very cute, and people like taking care of the thing that does nothing. And what about the adults you encounter in the aisle? Yeah. Sometimes it's, um, like moms and daughters. Sometimes it's women by themselves. Sometimes it's like little boys who come to laugh at us, and I I don't take that personally, but some some of the some of the products in the aisle don't like that, But I don't I don't blame them. You know, everybody's curious when people are embarrassed or excited or scared. Are you Are you feeling that? Yeah. Yeah, it's hard because, like, as a pregnancy test, I can only be I can be positive. I can be negative, but people can be a lot more things than that. Can I Actually, Can I actually ask you some? Just yes or no questions, because you are a yes or no thing. And you can just give me, uh, answers. Yes or no? Yes. Well, I guess Are you would you say you're happy to be who you are? Yes. When you think about delivering the big news that you're going to deliver Are you nervous? Mm. Are all people inherently good? Yes. Mm. Is my dad proud of me? I think he would have to pee on me for me to know that. Are there any mistakes a person can't undo? Yes. Will I ever have a kid? Yes. Should I have a kid? Yeah. When you think about how you're going to be used. Is it Is that gross to, you know, I've been wanting to know what it feels like. I know about P from my instructions, but I don't know exactly where it comes from. So, like, I know the area generally. I know it's, but I don't know exactly where. I don't know. You would think humans would be like sponges. You know, we're like when they soak up a bunch of liquid, you just give them a twist and it all comes out. But you have a much different system. Yeah, but and then, uh, what's your understanding? What happens to you? Okay. So what? I know from the instructions it I think they're going to hold me over the toilet and she'll pee on me, and then we wait and, um that I, you know, I lean out my window and say yes or no. I don't know what I'm figuratively lean out my window
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