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Snippet of LOL Comedy Showcase, Stand UP Comedy: Wanda Sykes Tongue Tied Intro

From Audio: Wanda Sykes - Tongue Untied Stand Up Comedy Special

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LOL Comedy Showcase: Stand UP Comedy
Duration: 09:43
The comedian chats about the entertainment industry, politics, and investing in the weed industry during this intro of her very funny stand up routine.
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The comedian chats about the entertainment industry, politics, and investing in the weed industry during this intro of her very funny stand up routine. She starts off by getting real about horrible television show ideas. Sykes has heard a lot of them but the one she heard about recently takes the cake.
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Thank you. Thank you. How you doing? New York thing B s so excited about this. Got my my special. Got my got a show coming out on Sitcom coming out. And, you know, I'm really excited about it, because it's It's a It's an idea that I came up with, you know, And before you get to do a show that you want to do, you gotta listen to all the bad ideas. And they had a lot of bad ideas. You know, my agent would called me and she was like, a wand. You anyone here? This I'm like, No. Tell me, what is it? She was like, All right. They want you to play of made and you win the lottery. But you love working for this family so much, You continue to be there, made I said, set it up. I wanna meet these people so I can slap that dumb ass idea right out their head. I think people want the work for you like that. That's ridiculous. I would tell you right now, somebody walked in here and told me I just won the lottery. I will walk out in the middle of this joke. Thank you. I flew in here from from L. A. Right. Oh, man. And that random screening that they say they do with the airport? There's nothing random about the random screening at all. I know. Every time I fly, I get checked twice. They stopped me in security, and then they get me again at the gate. The last time was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage. I like what you know. Yeah, it is ridiculous. Cannot be healthy being all irradiated. What the hell is this? There's nothing random about it. And then you get to the gate, They standing there with assuring Williams paint chart. If your ass is darker than khaki, you getting search e been served so much. I said hell with luggage. Now, just put all my stuff on a hanger. This is all I got, Y'all. That's it. You'll see. Yeah. To repair draws. That's it. That's it. And then also, the people who are doing the searching, They sound like they just got into the country four days ago. Okay? Okay, my friend. Okay. I need what I need. I think not. No, I need to see your I d The way help you froth. Thing is, now everybody wants to know. What did the president know before? 9. 11. What did Bush know before? 9 11? What he did he know on? I'm like, he didn't know a damn thing, Remember? He didn't get smart until after 9. 11. You can't hold him responsible for stuff that was going on back then. He wasn't paying attention, you know, doing the briefings. He was probably busy coloring or something, you know? You wanna listen up, Mr President. I'm busy. I'll go ahead. I want to finish this one. I think it might make the fridge. Okay, look, Dick, I stayed in the lines this time. Our future president, these are new lab president. Shouldn't laugh like a villain. They laughed like he just tired somebody to the railroad track. Yeah, you know what you got to get behind him. That's our president, you know, gotta support. And that's right way a 70% approval rating, You know, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do. The economy's in the toilet. We're war and everything's on fire. mhm. You know, the thing that bugs me, that was like, nobody ever wants to admit when they make when they made a mistake. Nobody wants to admit it. You look at the FBI, CIA and essay. They messed up. But instead of admitting they go, well, you know, there's no way in the world we could have imagined 9. 11 happened nowhere in the world, you know? Then later on, we find out all these damn memos came out. You know, highly trained FBI agent wrote the memo. I think this dude wants to fly played into the World Trade Center. Well, they're like, Well, there's nowhere in the world. We could have predicted that. Yeah. I can understand if Miss Cleo wrote the memo, you know? So now they want us to feel safe. So how they do that by scaring us to death Every time we turn around and telling us I'm gonna happen, Something happened. Can you turn on the TV without hearing a warning? So I'm gonna happen, and they always do it on a Friday around five o'clock. Thank you. Just messing up your weekend. Why don't they do it on a Sunday night? tell everybody to take the day off Monday or something. Yeah. Uh, yeah. I ain't coming in today. No, man. So I'm gonna happen. Well, that's what Dick Cheney said. Big Cheney, man. He's on a damn scared tour. You can't tell the TV on that man. Scared the hell out of you on. I love watching those political shows, right? So Sunday morning, I'm watching my favorite show watching face the nation there. Dick Cheney on there. There was like watching creature feature man Dick Cheney. Yes. You know, another domestic attack. It will happen. It's gonna happen any time. It could happen now by Syria. Went flying up in the air. E have fruit loops all on my wall. Yeah, kind of Liza. Right? She does the same thing. I want to scare your you know, everything. Whenever she talks to the press. He's up there today. The president met with Did y'all? His son Kind of Liza Rice, National security adviser. I do. That was a problem right there. Come on. You know, a black woman can't keep no secrets. She probably at the beauty parlor, just telling all our business. Look, look, I can't be in here all day. We bombing that racket too? Yeah, something like that. Okay, just a moment. Just give me a quick pedicure. I want a little cute. We put our foot up Saddam's ass. Okay? All right. Our qualities all messed up now. Knew that was coming when they lowered the admission standards and knew that was gonna happen when he appointed Christine Whitman, head of the EPA. Yeah. The governor of New Jersey is head of the Environmental Protection Agency. Do you know how dirty New Jersey is? I mean, I'm sorry. You drive through New Jersey, you gonna get a lump on your breast. Better get a mammogram at the toll. Thank you. Uh, that would be to 40 and put your titty up here. Okay? You all right? Okay. Yeah. No way. It devastates man way. Find all these. All these Enron guys, All these d CEOs dropping everybody. Blind man, I tell you, you know that stock market boy. That's why I got out. I got out of the market. I call my broker. I was like, hey, put all my money and we'd way down. That's a really blue chip right there.
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