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Snippet of Love Letters: Bonus- Love in the Time of Corona

Last Played: February 08, 2021
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Government-mandated quarantines have undoubtedly put stress on romantic relationships, but what if you find yourself single during lockdown? Should you text your ex "just to check-in?" Meredith Goldstein and her sister, Brette, give some helpful tips on whether or not reaching out to your former partner is the right choice for you. (Spoiler: It's not.)
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letter number two. I just got out of a relationship a few months ago. I have a history of having short relationships where, after two or three months, guys lose interest and ghost. I started to develop trust issues, so I tend to mess everything up myself with fights about nothing. My except seven months was different, or so I thought we got along really well. He made me feel like I deserve this kind of love. But last time we thought we didn't talk for two days. I started the fight, so I apologized. But he did not seem able to forgive me. He told me I gave him the silent treatment and that it meant I did not respect the relationship. We broke up New Year's Eve. I've reached out twice since the break up. He texted me back in long paragraphs, but it did not seem like he wanted to get back together. It's been a month since we last talked, and with all the social distancing going on, he still has work. I am worried. I just want to tell him to take care, but I feel like I don't have the right to do that. How much should you trust your gut when you want to reach out? And by the way, this letter represents so many people right now who want to check in with an X? It's like, you know, I knew that for those who didn't feel it Week one by like Week three or four, maybe it's about being worried. Maybe it's about super boredom, but the X texts are coming in. So would you tell this person it's OK to check in with their ex? Don't do it. Do your listeners know about the chart you made? I don't know. So I made a chart, I made a chart and I made the chart in, like, Week two of this, like without a Bron. And I was like, really like feeling it the load in my house. And I was getting a lot of people asking me, like, should I text my ex? I want to text my ex, so I made a flow chart about when it's OK and literally like every line. Almost every line points to know except for one. And that's a very rare situation. I mean, the key factor is that I named the chart um, should I recharge my ex, with whom I am not ordinarily in touch? Because if your ex is your friend, like, fine, go for it. This one was interesting to me. This letter, because the break up is pretty recent, and they have been in touch recently, so I just don't think it would be. I mean, I'm not recommending it, but I also don't think it's like the same as reaching out to your college X or somebody you haven't talked to in three years. I have a favor, toe ask, and you might say, No, that's fine. Can you talk us through and we're gonna have to, like, assume certain things or guests on certain things? Can you talk us through your flow chart for this? Okay, so and you can find, like, you need to look at it to do, you know I know it by heart. Okay? It's in my soul now. Okay, Um, and you can find it on the love letters Instagram. But, like, basically, I look at this chart. You guys, this this is she keep this is a fucking flow chart, like, Okay, start from the beginning. Okay. I mean, listen, you know, this is what happens under quarantine, You make a flow chart. So I suspected that there were probably four reasons that you want to call on X one is that you're actually worried. Two is that you are bored. Three is that you are horny And for is that you are having a general existentially crisis. And just to boil it down simply like if you are horny, they're totally like I can give you a list of things to Dio and, um, the world is filled with romance novels, pornography. I recommended the movie The Man From Uncle with Armie Hammer and Henry Cavil because it's just like a super horny movie with great outfits. So, like, do other things. Instead, if you're bored, there are also a number of things you can dio some of you still haven't seen Tiger King. I haven't seen Tiger King, right? Like once again call a different friend existential crisis. You know that led to ah, that led to the question Have you been drinking? Um, but again, these air, that's like the easiest thing to get rid of, right? Like dissolve into a book. It's the worry thing, right? And the first question you have to ask yourself is, Are you really worried about the person or are you just trying to make yourself feel better? And if you're just trying to make yourself feel better by checking in with that X, is there any way to check on the well being of that X through social media through a mutual friend? Like often, there's someone else that can say to you, You know what? There. Okay, you don't have to worry about them. And it was on Lee in a situation where that wasn't available, and you are completely sure that that person has no one else. Like if that person is married now and has a spouse who who's, you know isn't is signed up to care for their well being, You also don't need to check in like there was only really one small, narrow avenue of. I am completely unaware of what's happening with this person, and I'm really worried. Otherwise it really doesn't fall to you. So, you know, I just I know people are breaking the rules. Maybe by week eight, I will break the rules. Who knows who's to say, But I'm just saying, If you're on the fence, you know, it's really when you gotta have another friend on hand, media on and and again you can see that flow chart at the Love Letters website. But in this case, it sounds like Brett, you are going flow chart and are She's full of shit. I mean, she Of course, it's easy to convince herself that she's worried, Absolutely. And on some level she is. But nor does she say he's a hot mess with an auto immune disease, or he's like a single dad. There's no mother in the picture caring for a young child, and he's making dumb choices and going to work anyway. This is a situation where I think she feels, you know, maybe it's not so great about the decisions that she made prior to New Year's Eve, and she wants to reach out because she wants to reconnect. And I'm worried is a great way to start that conversation. But right now and look, it's Oh my God, like all my exes have crossed my mind and reaching out to them. But then you brought the flow chart into my life, and with each one of them. The answer was no. How much should you trust your gut when you want to reach out, don't you? Don't do that. That's where you really got a call in the troops. I would say when it comes to reaching out to an ex, Never trust your gut. That's what I always tell my best friend. Nicole. Don't trust your gut. Whatever it is, it's wrong. I guaran fucking tee it because your your gut is telling you to reach out. And I say, Hell, no. That's why you call me. Yeah, Fucking email me. I'll tell you not to reach out. And and And I'm the first one that would do that. I get I have no impulse control. I know. Okay. Fair? Yeah. Don't Don't trust your gut. Would you agree with that? Like when you want to reach out? I think we're calling guts. You know, I think somewhere the gut is probably telling you the right thing. I would call it like sometimes it's a whole other organ that's telling you to call your e
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