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Snippet of Other Men Need Help: Boy Talk

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station description A podcast that playfully looks at how men present themselves to the world—and pulls... read more
Other Men Need Help
Duration: 05:10
Sixty-year-old Richard is finally ready to find love again after Peter, his partner of 18 years, died in 2011.
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Sixty-year-old Richard is finally ready to find love again after his partner of 18 years, Peter, died in 2011. Listen as he and Mark Pagán embark on the exciting but nerve-wracking journey of late life dating and find joy in the unexpected.
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So, for the first time since documenting Richards love life, I met him in person before a date. He was wearing these gingham style blue shorts and this button up L l. Bean shirt clean shaven. He looked like he was up for a casual day in his boat. You look nice. Thank you, uh, laid everything out last night before I went to bed, just like first day of school. But it felt good. You know, it's a little less than an hour until you meet him. What's what's going on? It's excitement and nervous. I feel a spark of something. I don't know what it is. I don't know friendship. I don't know if it's romance, but I feel a spark. And I do feel that I made it to a second date, which is like an accomplishment. It's like I am feeling like I can't wait to see this guy. I am really looking forward to sitting down and just discussing having no agenda. There's zero that you know we need to talk about or that we're going to talk about. I have nothing prepared, and I am so happy about that. What a breath of fresh air. It was just so easy to talk about our partners in the sixties and meeting and trying to make ends meet. And him going through the late seventies, early eighties as this city was going through shitty times. And I understood right where he was coming from, and it just all made sense to me. And then when he got onto his partner, uh, it made even more sense. I mean, he was with his partner for 34 years and he was a caregiver for, like, the last three or four years of the guy's life. Is there a fear at this age looking forward of starting over again? You know, there was one thing that I was holding on to that I wasn't gonna mention. I have absolutely no belief in supernatural. I don't believe in signs. I just don't believe last night I had a Peter drink. You see, you're affected by that dream. What? What? What? What about? It was like it was only like, five second song. And it wasn't even profound. He wasn't saying anything wrong with that. We were doing an odd job we had to replace. We had to buy 20 bags of dirt at a nursery store, and there wasn't even much talking. It was like Heave ho, putting this stuff in the back of the car and saying, How are we going to get this tree and laughing about that? And then I woke up. If I were to believe in signs, I really like that Peter visited me. So Theo, tears come from the joy and possibly the hope that maybe there will be there that I do believe. It's maybe an odd question, but what would he say to you going into this date? Go for it. I know what he'd say I know is like fucking just nail it, you know, he's good for you. He'd be He'd be so delighted. You look, you have, like, a demeanor right now, like going to school. I am. I'm like rubbing my palms and shaking my knees and saying, You know, I'm gearing myself up. I am anxious to find out if this state's gonna start or end with the first kiss because the first one ended with a very, really lovely prolonged hug. And Richard is such a boy. He asked if I wanted to spy on them e You could see if he comes down If you want to do a spy. Mhm, uh, you get on your bike, get the report from me. You get on your bike. If you happen to go down, Clark and your doorbell. I won't look behind me a lot. Good luck. Thank you. I hope Here we go. Have a great day. You too. I got on my bike and I totally headed down to see Richard meet up with Joel. But I thought, Nah, that's such a parent thing to Dio, that's not my role. He could give Joe a call later, regardless of how this all goes. I'm markets rich card yellow calling your heart better. Few free moments. And I I kind of wanted to thank you again for the last few months of letting me think out loud and look at how romance was sitting into my life. I'm with somebody who wanted to say hello to you, too. Thistles Show. That's Joe, my boyfriend's. Yeah, this is which. My boyfriend on We're both so thankful. And things have been going fantastically and we just wanted to let you know. And until we talk again, I have the oh, Xiaochao fiery
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