Jack Benny was an unparalleled comedian who ruled the airwaves in the golden age of radio. When Benny fell ill, he made the unusual decision to have Orson Welles take over as host. Regarded only as a genius of radio, Welles flexed his comedic chops on the show and proved he had a gift for comedy.
Publish Date: Mar 26, 2021
kid. Have I got news for you? Guess who's taking Jack's place on the program tonight. Arson. Well, tattoo arson. Well, gosh, I'm scared. What are you scared of, Orson? Maybe a little eccentric, but after all, he's a genius. A genius? You mean he can figure out his income tax? I wouldn't doubt it. He's probably all set for tomorrow. Well, that must be your son. Now. Come in. Pardon me. Has Mr Wells arrived yet? No. No, not yet. I am his secretary. Miss Harrington, if you don't mind, I'll wait for him. No, no. Come right in. Thank you. Now, which one of these microphones will be used by Mr Wells? That one right there, Miss. Then I shall spray it. Uh, there. Now that's better. Well, I'll be darn it. The class, young man. Are you Phil Harris? Yes, ma'am. Then hold still. You'll you'll be all right now. I'll take that call. It must be for Mr Wells. Hello. Who's calling? Please win a series. I'm sorry Mr Wells isn't in right now and have him call you. Very well. Wow. Bonus series. I didn't no worse than to anybody in Australia. Australia, Mr Harris Buenos Aries is in South America. Would you like to make a little bit on that sister? One more word and I shall spray you again. Now, calm down, Phil. And for heaven's sakes, when Orson comes in, don't flaunt your ignorance. What do you mean, ignorance? See this book I got here? It says Shakespeare on a donut. So what? So when Orson comes in, I'll be reading Shakespeare like this. Oh, for goodness sake, Spill. You're reading the book upside down. That's the hard way. All I know is that Shakespeare. Well, that must be Orson. Now, Mr Wales never knocked. He kicks the door right down. Oh, come in. A studio B, I presume? Yes. I've come to clear the way for Mr Wales. I'm Mr Toodle Quartile. His secretary. His secretary. Then who's Miss Harrington? She's his private secretary. I am right out in the open. Oh, well, come right in. Thank you. Miss Harrington. As Mr Wales microphone being sprayed? Yes. Also, Mr Harris. Good. Oh, the master approaches. Good evening. This is Orson. Will. Thank you. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. Miss Harrington, is this microphone been sprayed? Yes, Mr Wells. Well, arson. I can't tell you how much we appreciate you coming over here tonight. It's awfully nice of you to step into Jack's shoes. I'm glad to do it, Don, it's a pleasure to step into a pair of shoes nowadays without handing over a coupon or Mezzaluna. A Lulu. Miss Harrington, are you sure this man has been sprayed way? Oh, by the way, as a call coming from me from South America? Yes. And I told them to call back. I hope she does. She's a lovely dish, by the way, Mr Wilson, Who is that lad peeking at me from behind your left hip? Oh, pardon me. Orson, this is Dennis Day. Our tennis. The pleasure. Dennis, come over here and shake hands. Go ahead and kill me. I got insurance. Oh, don't be silly, my boy. Don't be silly. All tennis shouldn't be killed. Hey, Orson, get a load of this book I'm reading. Well, I'll be darned Shakespeare sideways. Why, Mr Harris, I didn't know you were fond of Shakespeare. Yes, Yes. What's that you're reading now? Well, it's a fascinating drama. It's called King Henry. Ivy. Ivy That King Henry The Fourth The Ivy is four in Roman numeral I. You mean to say them Romans counted with letters instead of numbers? Precisely. You see, in them days, Phil, then was the thing to do. Oh, I get it. A fad like, yes, a bad like. Now let's proceed with the program, shall we? What is your musical contribution this evening, Mr Harris? Well, the boys and me are going to play that great old number Written by George M. Cohen, Yankee Doodle Dandy. Excellent play, Phil. Take a letter. Miss Harrington? Yes, Mr James Princeton, Harvard University. Dear Professor, I have recently come upon a specimen which should prove of great interest in your study of subnormal extroverts. At present, he is conducting the orchestra on a well known radio program. But I am sure we'll go ahead and play Phil. Okay. Hit it, boys. Wow. I'm getting to build up at Harvard.