Publish Date: Mar 24, 2021
I have several doctors. This is how I survive. But you know what? Oprah? I kept going and I want that kid out there or even that adult out there that's been through so much. I want them to know that they can keep going and they can survive and they can win there, Oscar And even if they look at it and they see all that pain at some point, I now have it in my kitchen. I now have it, and I look at it and I see it standing tall and I say, and you know what? So are you. You are still standing and I want to say I did many people as I can because I've been to the grave and back, and I really believe in the ability to heal. But what I will say is, is I'm surrounded by kindness. I'm surrounded by kind people, and they reminded me to be kind to myself, and that was how I was able to Then look at that Oscar and look at those Grammys and I have nine Grammys and the kitchen. I don't know why they're in the kitchen. I think it says I'm Italian. But, you know, I look at them and I go, You know what? Yeah, you went through all of that and you might feel real banged up some days. But you know what? You're still standing. You're still standing, you're still standing and you're still going and you're not going to give up. And now my purpose is not to figure out how to keep shocking people. That's for damn sure. My purpose is to spread that message of survival through kindness, kindness to yourself, kindness to others, taking those little bites of bravery every day, little bites of empowerment every day. That's how you survive. And also, I would back into anyone to try when they feel ready to ask for help. And I went back into others that if they see someone suffering to approach them and be that kind person in their life and say, Hey, I see you, I see that you're suffering and I'm here, which is the which is the greatest thing. Greatest gift I think we can give to each other. I mean, that's why I think Avatar and James Cameron is one of the wizards of our generation. Because that message of I see you there is nothing more powerful than that. I have to agree with you. There is nothing more powerful than that. There really is, I mean, with suicide and self harm. And this is a bit of like a a quick mental health rundown of terms, suicidal ideation or self harm urges. I know it very well. I have girls, so many girls. My mom and I always say, Tell me, Don't show me because I struggled with that and I'm actually not opened up very much about this. But I will to you, because you have a very giant following, and I think it's an important thing for people to know and here. But I've been a cutter for a long time, and the only way that I was able to stop cutting and self harming myself was to realize that what I was doing was is I was trying to show people that I was in pain instead of telling them that I was in pain and asking for help, and when the switch went off for me in my head that the cutting did not make me feel better. You feel better for two seconds, and then you feel worse about yourself. When I realized that telling someone, Hey, I'm having an urge, yeah, hurt myself. It's masochism, self masochism. I'm having an urge to hurt myself. That defused the urge. And then I didn't feel that I needed to show because I had someone next to me that's saying You don't have to show me. Just tell me what are you feeling right now? And then I could just tell my story and I you know, I say that with a lot of humility and strength. I am not ashamed that that is who I am. I'm very grateful that I don't do it anymore, and I wish to not glamorize it in any way. So anyone that's listening or reading this, I would want them to know that it doesn't make you a rock star to hurt yourself. So what I would say is is, If you have those urges, tell us, don't show us. Tell someone, Tell someone and ask them to listen and tell your story and hold their hand and and cry and it's OK. You'll get through it and the feeling it will pass. That's what my best friend always tells me when I tell her I feel like I want to hurt myself she says, Look at me, she says. You feel that way right now This will pass. Mm. Did you start at a young age? Because all the girls that I deal with started like 14, 15, 16. I was 14 when I started coming. Then it went away for a while, and then it came back. Some ways that I would suggest to people that struggle with mental issues or trauma response or self harm issues or suicidal ideation or thoughts is actually ice. If you put your hands in a bowl of ice really, really cold ice water or dunk your head in a bucket of ice cold water, there are ways to shock your system. It shocks the nervous system, and it it brings you back to reality because what's happening is you're your limbic system is fired to the point that you're panicking so hard that you want to hurt yourself because you want to show someone that you're panicking. I'm hurting. I'm panicking. I need help, and if you instead shock your nervous system, it brings you back down and it takes that panic. Just that that edge it takes it lower. It slows the limbic system down. Have you also used DBT db actually have a teacher? I take a dialectical behavioral therapy. I do TV t G skills. I think that DVT is a wonderful, wonderful way two.