different types of people, all different types of gender identities coming forward with the makeup on, whether they're copying my looks or doing things completely on their own and being inventive, it's been wonderful to watch. And like I said, the truth is yes, of course I want people to love the products. They're wonderful products. But what I really want is for them to take that message and just injected into their heart and spread it around the world. Aren't you constantly amazed at the power? Beauty has to uplift people? I just remember being in a hospital where women were getting their fistulas ended in Ethiopia and handing out lipsticks. And they were literally trying to crawl out of bed to get the lipsticks, you know, and women in Afghanistan under their burkas are wearing lipstick. Risky? Yes, the Taliban doing whatever to them. It's amazing when they when they take their burgers off what they're wearing, right? We don't know. Yes, under there. Yeah. So it's amazing the power that beauty has to look very powerful. And I felt so just not beautiful when I was young and when I left college, and I you know, my parents were like, not very pleased with me at the time, I said I wanted to be a musician. I worked three jobs, paid my own rent, and I went to the drugstore to buy makeup, and I experimented with color and I looked at myself in the mirror and I literally made myself. I invented Lady Gaga, and it made me feel strong. It made me feel powerful, and I've suffered from depression since I was a little girl, but oh my goodness, like the the superhero that flew out of me. It's like Clark Kent and Superman, except maybe Clark Kent didn't have the mental issues that Superman that doesn't have. But for me, it gave me wings to fly. And that's also why I refused to change. So as my career progressed, this is before it was even famous when people would say, like, Oh, the makeup, there's too much makeup. There's too much. This is that there's too much over the top, blah, blah, blah, You know, for me, I was like, This is my life force. This is what helps me fly, and you're absolutely right. I remember a few times after shows where I met some Children that have cancer that had no hair. I've given them my wigs and you can't imagine or I'm sure you can because you've seen it. The look on their face, they just transformative. They light up with happiness because they feel that something has been taken from them, and it's a way for them to take it back. Beauty can be very powerful, and it doesn't have to be because you're gorgeous and you're a model. Makeup and beauty can be powerful because it just makes you feel just a little bit braver. And it's like, sort of like saying, If you don't feel beautiful on the inside, maybe I can feel beautiful on the outside and then look at myself, Then I will find that inner beauty. That's how I found mine. That's beautiful. I must say you have perfected the art of the shocking and dramatic entrance. I mean, my God, this year's Met ball, You and Brandon Maxwell so fabulous. But do I'm wondering, do you feel pressure to constantly outdo yourself? Do you feel that that early success in some way, or is it a shackle on you in any way? Not anymore. I used to Oprah a lot. I mean, I gotta level if you like. 100%. I used to try to wrap my brain as heavy as I could about what I could do. Two. I would always, instead of being shocking. I mean, I used to say shock art or performance art, but I would use the word bomb use, which is like, basically putting the audience in a state of confusion where they can't look away. Yes, because I think you did that with me looking at Yes. Yes, yeah, yeah. I used to just go like, Well, what am I going to do next? What am I going to do next to get people's attention after the meet? After the meeting, after the meat. Did you feel that way? I don't. Where do I go from here? Well, the meat dress, quite frankly, I mean, I didn't think it was going to be a shocking to everyone as it was. I mean, that's but that's just me. You know, I have a sort of eccentric brain. So for me, I was like, Of course, this makes sense. You know? I'm showing up to make I'm showing up to make a statement about Don't ask, don't tell. I went to the event with soldiers who were discharged from the army because they were out or they were found out. And to me, if you're willing to give up your life for your country, does it matter what your sexual orientation is with your gender identity is For me, it was like flesh is flesh. So that was the intention of the meat dress. So for me, that wasn't shocking. It was shocking to the world. And then I went, Oh, I guess I was shocking. But then, yes, I felt the pressure to keep up with that at some point because it was sort of like I started to look at myself through the mirror of the audience, you know? Yes, almost like a split off. And then that went away. And what happened was, I think I have to say it's quite recently after doing a star is born and working with Bradley Cooper and my experience. Even with winning an Oscar, it's like I just went to myself. You have a much greater mission on this Earth than to freak the hell out of people you know, your mission is to bring people joy. Your mission is to bring people kindness. Your mission is to give people a form of love through your art that lifts them up. You know that moment up to make out with Brandon Maxwell. That was meant to bring people joy. And it wasn't about Look at me and my the best dress, right? It was not about that at all. I mean, it was all about firstly what the theme of the night was, which was camp and camp is essentially in. Susan Sontag notes on fashion. She says that Kemp becomes camp over time, right? So things that were once not camp or considered to be normal as time passes if you wear them, then their camp. So if I was dressed like someone from the 16th century all the time, that would be camp. So for me and Brandon, first we started from the intellectual space, and then we go, Okay, Now, how do we make this joyful? How do we do something that when I walk that red carpet, everyone is just filled with joy and they're just elated by the happiness And to me, that's kind that's using art in a kind way. And I think you did that in a thank you way. So well received, You know, you put So you were mentioning stars born you put so much energy into stars born and then became one of the biggest movies of the year. What was it like when it was all over? Did you feel a letdown? How did you say goodbye to both the character of Ali and the whole experience? Well, actually, the character of Ali stayed with me for a long time. I had to relive a lot of my career doing that role. Mm. I also come from many experiences with alcoholism. And, uh, did you work with Susan Batten? I did that since she's incredible. Wonderful, amazing, amazing acting teacher. And I worked with her. She is just an incredible woman. I worked with her. She was with me every day on set. I couldn't have done it without her. And also Elizabeth Camp, who is sadly no longer with us. I did a workshop with her as well. So it took me a long time. I become the character. I don't know how you feel when you've acted, but for me, I don't view it as a filming a movie. I film it as living the character, and it's like a moment in my life. So it's like a So I relived it all again, and it took a long time for it to go away. And when I won the Oscar for a shallow for best song for a film, you know, I I looked at it and a reporter asked me When you look at that Oscar, what do you see? And I said, I see a lot of pain and I wasn't lying in that moment. I was raped when I was 19 years old repeatedly. I have been traumatized in a variety of ways by my career over the years, for many different things. But I survived, and I've kept going. When I looked at that Oscar, I saw pain, and I think I don't know that anyone understood it when I said it in the room, but I understood it, and now, as time has it taken you to get there, the pain that you had taken to get there because you know when you're raped, particularly repeatedly at the age that happened to you too? Yes. You would have PTSD for years. About that. I have PTSD. I have PTSD. I have chronic pain. Europa. Thick pain, trauma response weekly part of my life. I'm on medication. I have several doctors. This is how I survive. But you know what? Oprah? I kept going, and I want that kid out there or even that adult out there that's been through so much. I want them to know that they can keep going and they can survive and they can win there, Oscar. And even if they look at it and they see all that pain at some point, I now have it in my kitchen. I now have it, and I look at it and I see it standing tall, and I say, and you know what? So are you. You are still standing, and I want to say I did many people as I can, because I've been to the grave and back, and I really believe in the ability to heal. But what I will say is is I'm surrounded by kindness. I'm surrounded by kind people, and they've reminded me to be kind to myself and that was how I was able to then look at that Oscar and look at those Grammys and I have nine Grammys and the kitchen. I don't know why they're in the kitchen. I think it says I'm Italian, but, you know, I look at them and I go, You know what? Yeah, you went through all of that and you might feel real banged up some days. But you know what? You're still standing. You're still standing, you're still standing and you're still going and you're not going to give up. And now my purpose is not to figure out how to keep shocking people. That's for damn sure. My purpose is to spread that message of survival through kindness, kindness to yourself, kindness to others, taking those little bites of bravery every day, little bites of empowerment every day. That's how you survive. And also I would back into anyone to try when they feel ready to ask for help. And I went back into others that if they see someone suffering to approach them and be that kind person in their life and say, Hey, I see you, I see that you're suffering and I'm here, which is which is the greatest thing. Greatest gift I think we can give to each other. I mean, that's why I think Avatar and James Cameron is one of the wizards of our generation, because that message of I see you there is nothing more powerful than that I have to agree with.