Jack Benny program. Quantity of product is essential to continuing success for you. So that smoke fine tobacco Lucky strike So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy On the draw. I remember a little bit on American Lucky Program, starring Jack Benny with Very Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day and yours truly don, Gentlemen, as you all know, in the Rose Bowl game on New Year's Day, Illinois upset the dope and here he is and he's still upset. Jack, go. Thank you. Hello again, Jack. Benny talking and Don. For your information, I wasn't upset at all. I enjoyed the game very much. Certainly was exciting. Was the giant Yes, sir. And what a score. Illinois 45 U C. L. A four team and I'll hoist 103. I was really something on what wonderful seats you have, Jack, How did you get such good tickets at the last minute? Well, down it wasn't easy. You see, even though I was born in Illinois, I've lived in California for the past 15 years. So in order to get two tickets, I called Governor Warren. You call the governor of California? Yes, Yes, he couldn't do anything for me. So he called Governor Green of Illinois Governor Green called President George Stoddard of the Illinois University. The president's daughter got in touch with Ray Elliott, the coach. Elliot got in touch with Buddy Young and fortunately, but a young happens to be a very good friend of Rochester. So through Rochester, I not only got two seats on the 50 yard line, but I also got a sure thing in the fourth race at Santa Anita Dunn. Who were you rooting for the game? Well, Jack, I didn't want to show any partiality, so I got a seat on the U. C. L. A side on a seat on the Illinois side. Don, how could you possibly sit on both sides of the Oh and Don? Weren't you disappointed when you weren't picked the winning float? Well, better luck. Next year I detected Hello, Bill will get your band ready. And Phil, what happened to your orchestra? Half your boys are missing. Where are they? Look, Jackson. New Year's Eve was only five days ago. Given time, leave Malone and they'll come home, dragging their empties behind. I know, I know, but Meanwhile, do the best you can with the boys. Oh, no, no. What's the matter? Jackson? Sammy, the bass fiddle player. What about him? Is the best bass player in the country. I know, But look at his base. Finland has six silver handles on. Well, that's Sammy for you. If anything happens to him, he don't want us to go to no expense. Look what he has card on the bottom of our I p. What's that? Rest in Petrillo. And until something happens to him, tell Sammy to put down the shovel. Use a bow on. Brought out the candles on the music stand. By the way, Phil, I saw you at the Rose Bowl game. New Year's Day. Oh, is that where I watch you know where you were? That was a great game, wasn't it? What about that 103 yard run? That hoist made confidentially. Jackson. It was longer than that, but it won't go on record. What do you mean? He picked up the ball behind his old goal line, started down the field, ran up into the stands, asked me for my autograph, told me how to spell Harris, and then went on to make the touchdown, waiting for me to not die. They don't nail them on the 10 yard line. Just show you how fast that boy is. Hello, Mary. Well, everybody's here now. Except Dennis. Where is he? I don't know. He hasn't come in yet. Well, how can we go on with the show of the cash? Doesn't get here on time. Oh, Jack, don't be mad at Dennis. I have no something that you don't know. Don't tell me as three shows. No jacket. Isn't that it's something you won't believe. What is it? Well, all of a sudden, then it's got a big crush on me. A crush on you? How come? I don't know. Someone must have told him I was a girl. Mary, stop kidding. Denis really got a crush on you? Yes, Jack. And he's so cute. Ever since last week when I danced with him in that night club, he's been sending me notes on little gift. What do you give you? Lots of things. His boy Scout knife, a bag of marbles. Three Coca Cola bottle caps filled with mud. Ah, ball of tinfoil official and a stick of bubble gum. No. Yes, and I'm worried why you see me wearing a bicycle clip? You'll know we're engaged. Well, how do you like? And Jack, you should see the note he sent me yesterday. Dennis, since you know, waiting that I'll read it to you. It's so sweet, my darling Mary, I hope you won't think I'm silly, but I keep your picture on the wall of my bedroom. I didn't want my mother to know who I'm in love with. So I took a pencil and drew a moustache and a derby hat on. I think I pulled my mother because now she's in love with you, too. I'll be done. Look how it finishes. I love you madly and passionately, and we'll never forget to kiss you gave me when I took you home. Thank you. In advance for your next shipment. You're really Dennis. Well, that's the uda's letter I've ever heard. Let's see that, Mary, Why is Dennis got the stamp pinned on the envelope? Oh, that? He says that ever since he fell in love with me, he won't let anything else touch his lips. Hey, must be hungry by this time. That search here he comes now. Hello, everybody. Hello, Mr Beni. Hello, Dennis. Hello, Dennis. Hello, Don High your kid. Oh, Bill. Hello. Danna Stanikzai said hello, Harry. Don't make it so obvious. Obvious? All I said was Hello. I know, but look how you're trembling. Danet. You're imagining things. She's not trembling. What are you trying to do, Break it up? Uh, I'm not trying to break you a married. Come here a minute, will you? I want to look at you. All right. Janice. Jeanne! Gosh. What is Dennis? You look so much better without a moustache thing, then is what about the Derby? No, thanks. I'm not hungry. I didn't mean that. But anyway, kid, I know how you feel when you're in love. Everything is bright and sunny and cheerful. Your heart overflowed with goodness. Do you feel nice towards everybody? They Jackson's You hear about Fred Allen being voted the best comedian on the air. There will be a short pause while Dr Jekyll becomes Mr High Mary. It doesn't bother me at all. Anyway, I read about Fame magazine. Selecting Alan is the greatest comedian and radio. What a choice. What's the matter with you, Jackson? Every time Fred on against award. You get mad about it. Two years ago, you got mad because they put his picture on the cover of time bills. Fred's face was on the cover of Look, it was on the cover of time. It was on the cover of Look, his face represented Time That burns me up. All right, all right. So he's not as pretty as I am, but you've got to admit he's got a great radio show. Some great show comes on on Jaber's for a few minutes and he calls Port Port Port Line, Portland For the first four years, people thought he was a conductor on a Greyhound. But okay, way I do believe me Way Ah, I love you on you own worm and Forney Leave your loving heart Me Andre will never I think every morning way I love you Way, way you weigh I I love you for sentimental reasons, son By Dennis Day and very good dinner. Yes, dance. I've never heard you think so. Well, that's because I'm in love with me. It ain't your sister, babe go his behavior. And now and now, Ladies and gentlemen, for our feature attraction tonight we are going to present how excuse may come in. Well, Mr Kit So what are you doing here? He probably inclusion Mr Benny. What? I came over potential for the Christmas present. Your sent me And to wish you a well Well, the same to use Kissel's. So you like the sweater? I think you a who I have never in my life on such a beautiful slop over. No, no, no, Mr. Kitson, you mean slip over there? I mean it to be Oh, I'm sorry. Well, why didn't you return it? Well, I like it that way because it makes me look like I have you. I know, I know you want You're not the song about cement mix. Yeah. Um, Mr Kittel, I'm glad my present suited you so well, you know, I liked it so much. I started meeting a pair of stockings to match the sweater. You did? But a funny thing happened while I was sitting in the rocking chair. My wife came in and saw me needing. She got all excited and thought we was going to have another Medio. Congratulations. By the way, Mr Kittel, as long as you're here Would you like to sit down and hear the rest of the program? I'm sorry, but I got to leave. All you should stay, Mr Kissel. Because tonight our guest stars Lauren Bacall, who are who's going good on your mistaken about Lauren Bacall. She won't be here tonight. Why not? Never mind. We haven't got time to discuss it. And now, ladies and gentlemen, what happened? Jack? Mary, we've got a program to do. And now, ladies and gentlemen, anyway, down The trouble started after you left the rehearsal yesterday at Jack's house. Lauren Bacall hadn't showed up Jet to rehearse apart and selling Dennis night. Decided to stick around and play a little gin rummy. So we went in the bin. Hey, Jack, for you and Lauren going to rehearse in the library that we could stay here in the den of play cards. Can't wait. Yeah, I'll be all right. Rochester, will you bring in a deck of cards, please? Yes. What? Shut up. What can you bring? The red batch of the blue bag doesn't make any difference. Yes, it does. Rez appointed terms blues bring on the deck of cards. They won't quibble about the price. Now, come on, Rochester. I want you to go in the library with me and help me get things ready. Yes, Rochester, Uh, I want to make a good impression on Mr Call, so see that there's a nice fire burning in the fireplace. Moved the de van so it will be nice and cozy in front of the fire. Turn the lights down low, turn on the photograph, and put on some nice romantic music for me to burn some incense manual palm leaves. No, no, that won't be necessary. Let's see. I think these horn rimmed glasses make me look a little too old. I get I'll take them all. Oh, I wouldn't do that power. You remember what happened the time this and chatted him or her with you? Took off your glasses? No, nothing happened. When the shirt came in, You rushed over the way You thought you saw her. Put your arms around the bridge. Lamp kissed. The parents have said why you bet me the car that was dark. Let's see. Oh, that must be missed. The call Now. Rochester, you answer the door. I want to sit down, make myself look alluring. I mean, relax there. Uh, how do I look? Aren't you over doing it with that rose in your teeth? What do you laughing that remote of any roses for my lapel. Oh, and answer the door. Is Mr Benny and home? Yes. Come right in. Mr Call. Oh, Rochester. Who is it? Miss Lauren Bacall. Well, Lauren Bacall, you were expecting maybe Mrs News. Bob Rock. You could get lost now. Well, uh, come in, Laura. This is in Plaschy. Peter. I mean, indeed a pleasure make of make yourself comfortable. Sit down. No, thanks. I'll just lean here against the door. Gosh, Lauren seeing you there. Um, I z of your first picture have and have not You were leaning against the door just like that. And then you said you're famous line. You mean if you want anything? Yeah. Way. Start rehearsing. No, I know you got a cigarette. A cigarette? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you are. Thank man that you know, uh, you know, Lauren, that cigarette I gave you was a lucky strike. I know it's my favorite brand too. Really? Yeah. Around for so fully packed. So free and easy on the draw, Effie boom. Never sounded like that. I can just picture you in a bathing suit holding up that big tobacco leaves on. You know, Lauren Lucky strikes were made of that fine. That light that naturally mild tobacco. Well, what do you know? And I thought mother told me everything. Live and learn. You must have land a lot. Yes. Yeah, Well, now let's start rehearsing. Here's your script. We're going to do a sketch based on your picture toe. Haven't have not. You will play the same part. You didn't the picture. Okay, well, let's start. I'll take the first line. Wait a minute, Jack. I'm supposed to lean against the door. Yeah, I I'm sorry. Well, we'll start again. You're sore at me, aren't you, Slim? Sonora State. I'm sorry at you. I wanted to get even. I brought that bottle of Brandy up here to make you feel cheap. But I'm the one who feels cheap. Well, you wanted got yourself to blame, Slim. After all, what did I do? Nothing. What's more, you don't have to do anything. Oh, maybe just with you in the heart of West, don't you just put your lips together and blow now, Slim, I got a better use for my lips. Come here. Let me kiss you. All right, But respect that rose out of your Sorry. I meant it on my lap in my lapel. Now let's got the Let's time the scene over again. Your, uh, your sore at me, aren't you, slim? Sure. I'm sorry at you. I wanted to get even. I brought that bottle up here to make you want bottle of where? Hello? Fairly well, ST Peter Muster left the gate open. And look who fell out. Uh, leave a lab burning in the window. Mother, I may be a little late. Ah! Ah, yeah. They're good nose tonight. All right? All right. Miss Lauren Bacall. Or and this is my colleague, Bill Harris. Well, Heidi party. I'm a colleague now. Yeah, and I go already. Hey. Okay. Come on, Lauren. Let's take that kissing scene again. We'll take that kissing scene again. Let's start where I who can nappy I left strict orders not to be disturbed. Mr. Barry. Mr. Harper. Ball guards at the door. Humphrey Bogart. Oh, Jack. I forgot to tell you. Bogey said he dropped by and picked me up you know, he and I am married. I know. Who do you think played the violin at your wedding anyway? He can wait outside. We gotta seem to rehearse, and we're gonna do it. Hello, baby. I jak Look, Humphrey, we're right in the middle of the river. Hurt. That's all right, Jack. Go right ahead. We won't be long, honey. That's all right, baby. You know, Jack, I'm glad to see you again. You're my favorite comedian. Well, that's good. Now, Lauren, I mean, I mean, miss a call. By the way, what should I call you Lauren? Or missed the call? Mrs. Bogard? Hmm? Let's get on with the rehearsal, Mr Bogart. Start with your starting with your last speech. Okay? You know how to whistle down? Just Steve. He just put your lips together and blow. No, Slim. I got a better use for my lips. Come here and let me kiss you what a comedian wanted. Look, Humphrey, I'm trying to run that it is a telephone call, boy. Oh, well, pardon me a minute, folks. I'll be right back. I was going, baby. Oh, brother. I thought so. A baby. I want you to do something. What is it when you get to kiss him? Just put one arm around him and run your other hand through his hair. Why? I want to find out if he really rare one. What if Benny, What is Benny want to be a great lover for anyway? Well, why shouldn't he? After all, he played a romantic lead in the horn blows at midnight. You saw that? Didn't? Yeah. They called our last picture the big sleep. Oh, Uh, by the way, what's this? Get your rising with many. Haven't have not. We're using the big scene. You and I did in the picture. No. Which one? He is playing my part. Coming back. Oh, I'm sorry. I had answered the phone, but well, that's the price of fame. Who was it? Wrong number call Because he sent me the wrong number of tickets of the broadcast. Now let's get on with the rehearsal. Lauren will start with my line. Well, you've only got yourself to blame, Slim. After all, what? And I do nothing. What's more, you don't have to do anything. Oh, maybe just with you know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow. No swim. I got a better use for my lips. Come here and let me kiss you. Wait. I'm gonna wait a minute. Jack Hole that you're doing it all wrong. Wrong. Yeah. When you get ready to kiss a girl, you put your arms around gently, Tenderly. You're not supposed to grab over the year lobes and pull yourself up. Oh, I see. And I watch me. Come here, baby. Read that line again. Okay. You know how to whistle Doubt, Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. No swim. I got a better use for my lips. Come here and let me kiss you like this. I get the idea that you get the idea. That's not Humphrey. Look, you can do that at home. Concrete. I'm paying her bythe. I, uh I get the idea. NA Bogey, Let's you and I take it again. Lauren Jacquard Gin rummy games over. So I thought I'd come in here. What? You re hurt? All right, I'll be quiet now. Come on, Lauren, stop with your line again. Okay. You know how to whistle. Don't you see? Just put your lips together and blow him. I have a better I'm Ari like that. No, no, no, Jack, no, no. You're doing it all wrong. Yeah, Let me show you again. I'll do it with Mary this time. You already married? Am I ready? I was puckered up when I walked in here. Mary isn't even. Come on, Mary. Come on. Married. You take babies line. Okay. You know how Toe whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow. I don't know. I've got a better use for my lips. I'm Erin. Let me kiss you like this. Okay, wait a minute. Wait. Wait. Anyway, step aside. Mary, I want to talk to Mr Bogart. Yeah, and I want to talk to him to dinner. Hey, huge! I've got a chance, sister. I send all my coca cola tops to marry. Listen to Mabo. God, I saw you kissing a woman. I love sea and you ain't muscling in on my racket. See, those lips ain't big enough for the both of us. See? Not get out of here before you get hurt thing. Get out! Out, out, out! Come on, baby, Let's get out of here. This guys Come back then, Dennis. I can't believe it. You know what you did. You frightened Humphrey Bogart? Sure. Then is what's that you got in your hand? A picture of my mother. Lorna will never be on my program. My good friend, Mr L. A. P. Drake. The family hated later demanding little My mom, alone on any minute like Mr Joyner can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently selected by that. Find that light that naturally mild tobacco. Fine light, naturally mild tobacco. Remember, year after year L s M F T lucky strike means fine tobacco. And this fine, lucky strike. Tobacco means really deep down smoking enjoyment for you. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco. Lucky strike So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart for appearing on my program tonight. They can currently be seen in their Warner Brothers picture the big sleep. Well, I better rush home now. Or taxi! Taxi! Taxi or doorman? Get me a taxi, will you look? But if you want a taxi, just whistle. What? You know how to whistle? Don't you just put your lips together and blow. Oh, yes, yes. What do you know? It works with a national broadcasting company.