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The Jack Benny Program Audio: The Beavers Do the Show | Jack Benny - Single Episodes - 1954-1955 | Audio

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In this episode of The Jack Benny Program, listen as the Beavers create a school play based on Jack's radio show. This spoof offers the show an opportunity to rehash timeless gags in a hilarious way.

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the Jack Benny program, transcribed and presented by Lucky Strike the cigarettes that's toasted to taste better if you want to taste from your cigarette. Lucky strike is the brand. Get to give you the best yet posted. The rest on tobacco is like tobacco is mild tobacco, and it's because the toasting brings the pain right through. So to get a taste from cigarettes, lucky is brand. Get Give you the best way. This is Don Wilson friends, that version of the Lucky Strike song Dorothy Collins just saying Maybe different in Temple, But the story is still the same. Ah, lucky taste better because it's toasted to taste better. You see better Taste starts with fine, mild, good tasting tobacco ls mfp lucky strike means fine tobacco. And then that tobacco is toasted. It's toasted is the famous lucky strike process that brings Lucky's find tobacco to its peak of flavor. Tones up this naturally good tasting tobacco to make it taste even better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. So friends remember that next time you buy cigarettes and be happy Go Lucky Lucky Strike Program, starring Jack Benny with very living in Rochester, devastated by Crosby, you're really well Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, Jack Benny does another television. But meanwhile, let's take you back to yesterday. Last night, the members of the Beverly Hills Beavers put on a play at the school auditorium. Of course, Jack Benny, who happens to be the treasurer of the club, was planning to go. We now find Rochester pressing Jack's tuxedo, President Watts and President twice, then present once again. It's been a long Well, I got past breast. Not better finish, president. Cool. I wonder where Mr Benny bought this tuxedo. It should be on the label. Yeah, there it is. The boys. Ah, Rochester. Have you finished pressing my clothes yet? Yes, but who was the last one? You're reading stuff to. Why? Every time I lay the coat down the arms booth Oh, Anyway, you're only going to a school play wide dressed, formal. Rochester. The Beavers aren't putting on just a play. They're going to do their version of my radio program. It's each one of the kids will portray a member of my cast. And since I'm the inspiration for their show, they may ask me to come up on the stage and they could speed God, I'll never forget. 10 years ago, when I made that speech at the Academy Awards, I don't know. You were on the speakers list. I wasn't, But I just had to get up and tell him what I thought that I did too. I'll get a ride. 00 Mary. Hello, Jack. My early. Well, we don't have to be at the school auditorium for a half hour yet. You know, Mary. Thank you. Help me out with the code, Rochester. I want to see if it still fits. Hey, Jack, if you were that old tuxedo again, I'm not going out with you. It's old fashioned now. Oh, Fashion. Yes. How long the coat is. What, you laughing? That, like the villain in the drunkard Wear the cape? No, Mary. Jack. I mean it. I wouldn't be seen dead in that tuxedo. I'm gonna wear this tuxedo on that settles that Rochester. I won't be home. There's the phone. I get it. Hello? Hi, Jack. This is Bob ate the body of day, but well, I wanted to let you know I'm on jury duty. Jury duty. You're kidding. Now the first case comes up Wednesday, and it may last for a week. But this is ridiculous. You'll miss my show. Didn't you tell him you work for me? Yes, I did, Jack. Why did you tell him it would be a hardship? Had to lose the income from my show. Well, I told him, Jack, but that didn't work either. Why not? Well, they pay more than you do way. What, three bucks today? That temporary work is always high. Bob, I just can't let you miss my show. Well, there's really nothing you can do about it, Jack. Oh, no. What about my contract with you? Well, that's the case that we're trying Wednesday. Ah, Stop joking, Bob. I need you for the show. So I wish you try and make it, OK? Say, uh, by the way, Jack, did you get that recording that I made with the sportsman? Oh, yes. Bob is right here. What? Would you play it? I think you might enjoy it, or I'll play it right now. So long, Bob. Goodbye. Well, Mary Bob sent me a record that he made with the Sportsman Quartet. Let's play it. OK, where is it? Right there by the photograph and play it loud. Mary so I can hear it in the other room while I'm getting dressed The sun is shining all happy days no more trouble. And those guys a great ever since you said those words to me You know it's to my life Complete their for now I have you Oh, happy day. Oh, lucky me. Well, happy me, darling. Hold me so tired. I need your loving Really You love? I know it's my life complete here for now. I have you Oh, lucky way You okay around that happy day way Lucky, cleaner Fresher to our lucky strike A smoother smoking to O T O oh, happy a happy they marry That was very good. It was thoughtful of Bob to get the sportsman to do it with him. Kerouac, Sajak, Don't you think it's about time we left with school Auditorium? Yes. We haven't got much time. Rochester, get my car out of the garage, will you, please? You can use the car. Boston nail went through one of the time. Oh, I told you not to buy such cheap tires. Rochester, the most expensive tire in the world can be punctured by a nail fingernail way going Dio. I've got my car. Okay, we'll go on yours. Come on. By Rockets by Good bye. Ah, yeah. Nice Bob. Yeah, Yeah, Dan, It's on a bicycle. Where? Hello, Mary. Hello, Mr Benny O kid. We were just leaving for the school auditorium. Aren't you going to see the Beverly Hills Beavers put on their play? Oh, sure, but it's such a nice night. I thought I'd write over on my new bicycle. Oh, is that a new one, Dennis? Yeah. Won it last night on a quick program on a quiz program. Gosh, you're really lucky. Yeah. Was it a hard question? Oh, no, it was easy. The man pointed to me and said, Would you pay $100 for this bicycle? I said yes. So I gave him $100. I almost want a refrigerator, but I didn't have enough money. Ah, master ceremony of this Chris program. Have a little hammer in his hand. Uh, Dennis, you're at an auction. All those people crowd around were bidding. I know what I'd identify. Toe had the hammer not come on way. Better get to the school auditorium. Okay. Oh, by the way, Dennis, did you ask your mother if you could go duck hunting with me again next week. Yeah, I didn't know you go Mr Benny on his hunting trip. Oh, sure. I'm is retriever. You? You mean when he shoots you bring back the duck. No one he misses. I have to bring back the booth. All right, All right. Now, Dennis, leave your bicycle here and come with us. Okay? School auditory really is packed, but we got pretty good seats that we may go. They define right the Senate to can you see? All right, Dennis, Know that man in front of you to take off his hat? It isn't his. What? It's mine. I put it there. I take it off. Be quiet. Oh, hello, Joey. Is everything ready? Backstage for your show? Uh, kid Nervous? A little bit. Well, good luck. Thanks, Mr Benny. And by the way, you'll be happy to know that we're almost sold out of popcorn. Good. Good. Now push the lemonade. Ah, go ahead. OK, All right. We're going to do a take off on Mr Benny's radio. She I know the joy. Did you finally get a fat kid to play down? Wilson Uh, good. Good. Now you better hurry or you'll be late. Well, married won't be long now before the show starts. T I hope the beavers really do a merry merry, huh? Don't look now, but there's a lady across the island Keeps seriously. I guess he recognizes me. Where? Here she comes. Me. But would you be good enough to give me a little autograph? Why? Certainly. There you are. Thank you. You're wonderful in the way. I told you not to wear that cape. Take it off. You don't marry this idea. The little kids doing my radio program is really clever. Yes, Jack. I think it's cute thing that Oh, the curtain going up. Yeah. Yeah, I Look, look, they've even got a kid orchestra. Quiet. Here they go. Jack, with your way. I want to bring in the star of our show. A man who still have the first salaries that not because it's cheap because you can't stand Confederate money. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. How again, Jack? Benny talking. And John, did you think of that introduction all by yourself? And I thought it was very funny. Yes, boy, The last time you took like that. You got a proposal from Hilo, Hattie? Another thing done. Oh, hello, Manly hell, Jack. How you done? Say, Mary, I called you last night, but you made You are out. That's right. I went to the baseball game. Van Johnson. That was nice One when you was Van Johnson who watches the game, Marry what should drop in the floor. That Oh, that's the letter I got from Mama from your mother. A what does the dimensional Plainfield, my darling daughter married just a few lines to let you know that we are all Well, the weather is nice here now, but as you probably read in the paper last month, we had an awful blizzard. And when your father came in from the bonds, nothing hand was frozen. Mary, Mary, that little girl is a natural born actress. You went right on reading the letter, even though her bloomers were slipping down. No other news. So we'll close now. Would love your loving mother. Mama. You know, Mary, your mothers letters get better all the time, But let's get on with the show. Oh, Bob, my claws be I'm talking to you. Oh, I'm sorry. Jack. I didn't hear you didn't hear me know. I've been rehearsing a band of my ears are still holding Bob. Ask you. Did you learn how to pronounce that? Would yet? I think so. Let me hear you manage, Bob. You don't want to get straight to wife and Children. Say, Jack, what is it done? I think it still has a telegram for you. Well, what's he waiting for? Oh, boy, boy. Yeah. Union. Who do you think I am with this uniform? Melton, Eddie, never mind. Just give me the message to you are. And here's a tip for you. Oh, boy and nickel. Now, I can send my father through college trouble with you before. What's the matter with you? Do you enjoy aggravating me? Mm. Now let's see. I wonder who this job. You only gave it a nickel tip. That's the cheapest thing I ever heard of. Mary, be quiet. I will be known as nylon Nelly at the May Company. Now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we're going to have any home. Mary. Hello, Janet. Hey, kid. I'm glad you got here because it's time. Clear light on minutes. Yanis, Look at me. Janice This is the first time I ever saw you wearing glasses. Are your eyes bad? No. Then why are you wearing those glasses? My uncle died left into the Oh, that's a shame. Yeah, well, heaven, kid, you can't see what's going to take them off. Just because somebody leaves you something in a well, you're not compelled to use it. Know anybody wanted by the Oh, okay. I'm going up Mahal and get a candy bar of the machine. I mean, whenever they got one night, the way you think. No way. She was the most bit outside candy machines. Oh, it is. Now, let's see. They've got who? She took a Penis. Life savers Babe Ruth and Melky Dip. I think I'll get that one a milky Did he But yeah. What you doing? I'm getting some candy. What kind? A milky did I want a milky milky dip Hasn't been what you talking about? Milky? Not only as chocolate on the outside, but it has cream in the center ramps would give you the trouble. What cream? Unless you with he? I never thought of that. You really think I should get a Hershey bar? Can't miss look at the last performance. Last performance? Yeah, coming out of the machine where she was boxed in by lifesaver, but got through the whole way. Lunch saver was the flavor. It Wow. I don't know. I'm still going. Wait a minute. I know what I'll do. I'll get on. Enjoy. Okay. I wasn't cute, Jack. Just like the tout on our show her yet. Jack Guiness finished a song. Okay, Mary. What took you so long, Jack? All I landed. That waste blacked out now. Well, well, we were supposed to start our skin, so yes. Well, hold on a second, kid. Before we start. I want to call lot yesterday. Maybe. Hello. Hello. Go true. We'll try to get you walk just to please. Yes, Mama. Blue eyes. He wants to get in Rochester. It's a good thing he talked to you. I hung up on him. Why Jets with me at once and didn't even kiss me goodnight. I can't understand. I even brought my lips up close to him like this one. The one that we didn't get. Well, I've seen that video later. I get a lot. Yes, I mean for you. Just the bandage resident star stage, screen radio, television And get your income tax it up. A man who knows. Never mind that. Oh, you boss. Yeah, It's a man from the used car lot Come along to buy my car. Yes. Well, did you kill him? The plight of $1000. Uh, but he told me after used car market has dropped him in last Tuesday's all. What did he offer you? 7. 50. Wow, that is so bad. You see where the decimal point? Ah, being on his new I D cards. $1000. I will tell the man I'm not selling it anyway and come down to the studio and pick me up. Goodbye. Goodbye. You're on the phone so long, We have time to do the plane. So I don't know. You try to put on a program, and something always happens. Lemonade. Get your lemonade in the lobby. Oh, I'm sorry. Wait. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack would be back in a minute to tell you about his television program, which goes on at seven. PM tonight over the CBS television network. But first, a word to you smokers who are looking for better taste in a cigarette Better Taste Friends is the prime concern of the makers of Lucky Strike. That's why I lucky is made of fine, good tasting tobacco that's toasted to taste even better. 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