Obama audio quote, "When a guy who has his face on a hope poster calls you self-centered, you know you've got a problem."
Obama audio quote, "After I received the news, Malia walked in and said, 'Daddy, you won the Nobel Peace Prize, and it is Bo's birthday.' And then Sasha added, 'Plus we have a three day weekend coming up.' So it's good to have kids to keep things in perspective."
Obama audio quote, "I could call a nuclear submarine right here."
Obama audio quote, "Reminds me of when I identified myself as American back in 1961."
Obama audio quote, "No one is happier, no one is prouder, to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald. And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell?"
Obama audio quote, "I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be."