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Kaylin and Christy, along with their guests, empower women to live fully loved and fully free Continue Reading >>
Kaylin and Christy, along with their guests, empower women to live fully loved and fully free << Show Less
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39 Stranger In My Own Body: 3 Moms Candidly Discuss Their Body After Baby SHOW NOTES“It’s that ‘stranger in your own body’...I just don’t know myself.” -Kaylin“I took a picture of myself in the mirror one week after having my twins and I still looked 6-7 months pregnant….I didn't know that would be my experience and that's what made it so hard...That was a very shocking experience that I wasn’t prepared for...I wish I had been prepared for that with somebody telling me: That may happen, and that’s ok and that’s normal.” -Christy“I was so proud of myself that I could walk a block...then a total stranger said something (hurtful) and it just totally shattered me.” -Bartley“Your body made this incredible human and now you’re caring for them.” -Bartley“What is it that makes us think that we’re going to go back to our previous selves after having a child?...I think it's more of an internal dialogue...Why is it so hard to not see yourself as ‘normal’ afterwards? Why is postpartum so not talked about, so strange?” -Kaylin“I think it does need to be normalized. Postpartum is a stage that we as women go through...a lot of people want to skip over that part.” -Bartley“I do think there is a place for normalizing things like this by being a little more open and a little more vocal...just talking like it’s a natural thing.” -Christy“I think it’s because a lot of times we objectify ourselves...that that’s all we are is our bodies, instead of understanding that we’re a whole person, and that we’re more than just our bodies..we’re more than just what our body’s doing.” -Kaylin“I want my girls to learn: You are valuable regardless of what you look like, and beauty’s definition can be a lot of things.” -Christy
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39 Stranger In My Own Body: 3 Moms Candidly Discuss Their Body After Baby SHOW NOTES“It’s that ‘stranger in your own body’...I just don’t know myself.” -Kaylin“I took a picture of myself in the mirror one week after having my twins and I still looked 6-7 months pregnant….I didn't know that would be my experience and that's what made it so hard...That was a very shocking experience that I wasn’t prepared for...I wish I had been prepared for that with somebody telling me: That may happen, and that’s ok and that’s normal.” -Christy“I was so proud of myself that I could walk a block...then a total stranger said something (hurtful) and it just totally shattered me.” -Bartley“Your body made this incredible human and now you’re caring for them.” -Bartley“What is it that makes us think that we’re going to go back to our previous selves after having a child?...I think it's more of an internal dialogue...Why is it so hard to not see yourself as ‘normal’ afterwards? Why is postpartum so not talked about, so strange?” -Kaylin“I think it does need to be normalized. Postpartum is a stage that we as women go through...a lot of people want to skip over that part.” -Bartley“I do think there is a place for normalizing things like this by being a little more open and a little more vocal...just talking like it’s a natural thing.” -Christy“I think it’s because a lot of times we objectify ourselves...that that’s all we are is our bodies, instead of understanding that we’re a whole person, and that we’re more than just our bodies..we’re more than just what our body’s doing.” -Kaylin“I want my girls to learn: You are valuable regardless of what you look like, and beauty’s definition can be a lot of things.” -Christy
38 Jen Mattson: The Value of Emotions RESOURCESThe Biology of Belief, by Dr. Bruce LiptonThe Emotion Code, by Dr. Bradley NelsonThe Tapping Solution- Emotional Freedom Technique Video16 Ashley Meyer: How Authenticity Led to Her WholenessInsight Timer AppSHOW NOTES“So what does holistic mean? It is all about our physical, emotional and spiritual beings. It's not that we are just physical; we’re so much more. It also means that we are always looking to the root of the problem, so we see symptoms as your check engine light. And so why is your check engine light on? Mainstream is all about treating the symptoms, and we are more about asking why...Going to the root is really where the answers become really prominent...We want to get to the root of the problem.” -Jen“Emotions are inherited...Each member of the family has similar DNA, but we don’t all turn out the same. So we might all have similar core emotions… but the culture that we are in can produce some different results in each one of us.”“Emotions aren’t just about me, they can be from the next generations passed on.” -Kaylin“Love is the highest vibrational frequency...it’s where we were created.” -Jen“Energy attracts like energy.” -Jen“In this country, 90% of disease and illness is caused by stress.” -Jen“If we’re running in fight or flight 100% of the time, our adrenals are burnt out, our immune system is not working whatsoever.” -Jen“We have to find the beautiful harmonious balance in emotional life just like we do in the rest of life. The good comes with the bad.” -Jen“It is ok to have all these emotions and be human.” -Kaylin“It takes some love and some courage to go within...Some people think the scariest place is to go within, so that’s why we have become so busy so that we can ignore all those things.” -Jen“Take a moment, be present...stop and ask, ‘why? What’s going on?’...You have the choice always to be in control of your emotions.” -Jen“Meditation literally means being still in your mind...breathing techniques, music, there’s many ways to use meditation.” -Jen“Nature has so much to offer us...God created everything.” -Jen
37 We’re Changing Our Name! Why Falun? RESOURCESMusic Spotlight: Love Doesn’t Have a Color, by David Paul MartinSHOWNOTES“Our definition of a mom is anyone who nurtures.” -Christy“We want any woman in any place in her life and journey to feel this podcast is for her.” -Christy“Our goal is to be relatable, to empower you as a woman, to think deeply about things we may need to be challenged on with our assumptions.” -Christy“I think a lot of times you think you know yourself and then when something big happens in your life (you have a baby, or start taking care of somebody else, or just growing up), you realize your world’s upside down and you realize you don’t necessarily know who you are. And you realize your systems or how you see yourself isn’t working. And we want to be here to challenge and encourage women to start that process of rethinking who they are, and finding out that they are really beautiful people made in the image of Love.” -Kaylin“We really are here to start a conversation about identity. We’re here to empower women to go deeper in our understanding of ourselves and...to grow in understanding who we are.” -Christy“We want this podcast to be for any woman who is in any walk of life, from any faith background, and at any point in their spiritual journey.” -Christy“How do you need to care for yourself in ways that no one else can or will so that you have enough to give to those who are dependent on you, or those you love and care for?” -Christy“When we understand how we were designed and made, and that we are loved and have that diamond inside of us, there’s no reason to be selfish but only to give to others because we are confident in that.” -Kaylin“You have nothing to give your kids or anyone else you nurture if you have not also received love - and so part of that is self-care. You have to fill up your tank to have anything to give to others….We’re not saying love yourself above others; we’re just saying - include yourself in this.” -Christy“You have to love yourself to be able to love others well...It always comes back to receiving God’s love first. And we won't make any advancements until we get that figured out and we can receive love. Then we’ll be able to give it to ourselves and others.” -Christy“A lot of times the messages that we get in a lot of different places are making us ‘less than’ or making us ‘greater than,’ and we’ll find ourselves on one side or the other if we don’t realize who we truly are.” -Kaylin
36 Forgiveness: Ready, Willing & Able RESOURCESMusic spotlight: “Stars” by Sofa CitySHOW NOTES“A lot of times we think forgiveness is just forgetting...and excusing what actually happened. I think there’s just a lot of lies that we believe about what forgiveness actually looks like and who it’s for.” -Kaylin“You cannot forgive something that isn’t a wrong...that’s by definition why you're forgiving.” -Christy“Not forgiving is like...drinking poison. And it’s a festering bitterness that grows inside of you and makes everything turn more and more sour and it doesn’t go away by time.” -Christy“Forgiving is one of the most powerful things we can choose as an ongoing way of life.” -Christy“By giving myself the ability to express the pain and frustration and how that really impacted me, then I felt ready and willing to let go of it on the other side of that. Because my heart had had a voice and been validated, and even though I never brought this up with that person, I was able and willing to let go because I hadn’t denied my heart the voice it felt it needed.” -Christy“I am letting this person off my little hook, and putting them on God’s hook. Because I believe it's not my job anymore to get back from this person what they owe me, I can walk away free...they’re going to have to be accountable to a Higher Power.” -Christy“Holding onto your unforgiveness doesn’t affect them at all, and forgiving them doesn’t affect them...it’s for you.” -Kaylin“Forgiveness can be a process, and is a process, and is a journey, and it can take time. It might not happen in two seconds, it might happen in two seconds but...letting your heart have a voice can take time.” -Kaylin“It's complex...it's a process. And because our hearts are deserving of the journey it takes to live fully free and fully alive, there will be certain offences and wrongs that are deep enough and wounding enough that you can’t just let go in that same moment and be done with it. It can take time to identify- why did that hurt me so badly?” -Christy“It takes time to process and heal.” -Kaylin“Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. So forgiving someone does not mean you need to continue a friendship with them, if they’re someone who hurt you repeatedly, or for whatever reason you don’t feel is a healthy friendship or relationship to keep in your life. You can forgive and still not reconcile. Reconciliation, I think, can really only truly happen when both sides are humble and willing to acknowledge their side...Forgiveness does not automatically equate to reconciliation.” -Christy“By putting up the boundary there, it’s not letting them hurt you. And that’s being kind to them to not let them keep hurting you. But it's also for you, to not let yourself keep getting hurt because you are worthy of not being treated like that.” -Kaylin
35 Jeanette Rupert: At the Table Where It Happens RESOURCESMari Park, Rocking This Baby (rockingthisbaby@gmail.com)"When Minneapolis Segregated" (article on redlining and racial housing covenants)SHOW NOTES“For most people, I or my siblings-our family-were the first blacks that they’ve ever actually befriended or come in contact with, or had a relationship with. So there were a lot of questions. There may be a lot of ignorance because of the perception that society puts out there. The narrative that is out there about blacks can make our peers even feel uncomfortable.” -Jeanette“That was very challenging for us to constantly be on display, or being asked to speak for the entire race...People are individuals. I can say what I think, but I am not in any position to speak for an entire race. There was a lot of weight on our shoulders being the only blacks in our circles.” -Jeanette“How do we help our children understand the value of all races, all colors of skin, and see the unique image of God in people? Because I think it can be easy to think, ‘I’m not racist. I value all people, all cultures.’ But when our context is pretty monotone in color, we just aren’t even aware sometimes of what we don’t know. And we can find ourselves feeling uncomfortable by things that are different than what we are familiar with.” -Christy“As mothers we need to start having crucial conversations with our children, and that can start right at the dinner table when families are together, bringing up these conversations so that as they grow it doesn’t become uncomfortable...Let’s start showing them the beauty of all cultures.” -Jeanette“You’re only gonna grow and build from learning these cultures, so I think we need as mothers to just kind of embrace them so that they (our kids) don’t fear what they don’t understand.” -Jeanette“It creates a world for us to live in where it requires such intentionality on our parts to not live out of a different narrative, but to choose kindness, to choose love, to choose patience, to be willing to hear the whole story; to be slow to speak, quick to love.” -Christy“When they’re (kids) that age, that’s when you’re starting to shape who you want to be...but if you don’t see people who look like you in those professions, then your dreams get shut even more because you don’t believe that you can get there. Part of believing is seeing...If you can see those role models, it’s that much more encouraging to see yourself get there.” -Jeanette“Our children are our future and I think that our children will model what they see. So we as parents have a responsibility to show our relationship, our partnership, our stance against those things that are derogatory and negative.” -Jeanette“It shows the importance of identity, knowing who you are, to be able to love others.” -Kaylin
34 Ten Lies We Believe RESOURCES1 Timothy 4:12W. Timothy Gallwey (quote about being a rose)Stephen Witt, All Around MeDr. Caroline LeafDanny Silk, Keep Your Love OnConnected Families, Framework for parentingThe Mom Podcast, Ep 27 Katie Skurja: Drama RescuingThe Mom Podcast, Ep 30 Cindy Mattson: "Know Yourself to Lead Yourself"The Mom Podcast, Ep 24 Baxter Kruger: “I am Caroline”The Mom Podcast, Ep 06 Becoming an Emotionally Safe ParentSHOW NOTESTEN LIES WE BELIEVEI have to be perfect to be good.I am not good.I will be enough when I get thereI am not enough because of my gender, race, age, or family history.I'll be lazy if I believe I'm enough.I am selfish if I take care of my own needs.I am “less than.”My pain disqualifies me and it’s my fault.Because I have done______one too many times, I’m damaged goods.Expectations we have that hurt us“We’re always asking the question, ‘Am I enough?’ Especially in the mom world we struggle to answer the question, ‘Am I enough?’ And when we define it based off of our competencies or unhealthy expectations of ourselves that we can’t live up to, we can feel like what we’re doing is never enough. Who we are is never good enough and that really gets in the way of loving and living fully loved and fully free...It comes back to our identity and our intrinsic value. Because we are humans created in the image of God, we are good.” -Christy“If something is made in God’s image, it's not trash.” -Christy“Our imago dei, that is the image of God in us; that is who we are at the core, that is our enoughness.” -Kaylin“Yes, we are fallen now. Yes, we’re all wounded, we’re all broken, so none of us can escape that. But the image of God is still in us, and the fact that Jesus came to die for us is not what re-creates goodness in us, it's what shows that there was something already intrinsically in us worth dying for and that is our value. Yes we are broken, yes we are wounded. Yes, we needed Jesus to come to re-connect us with the Father, Son, and Spirit. But our intrinsic value is already at infinity and can’t be changed by our woundedness, brought lower by it, or brought higher by our performance.” -Christy“The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.” -W. Timothy Gallwey“Our enoughness is not performance based; it’s’ intrinsic.” -Kaylin“And don’t be intimidated by those who are older than you; simply be the example they need to see by being faithful and true in all that you do. Speak the truth[a] and live a life of purity and authentic love as you remain strong in your faith.” (1 timothy 4:12, TPT)“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” -Dr. Caroline Leaf“We model to others how we expect to be treated.” -Christy“Remember that you’re somebody else’s ‘other.’” -Kaylin“Hurt people hurt others, so when we have insecurities we kind of leech that onto other people as well. But when we hold high value of ourselves we'll start walking around and seeing the high value of everyone else around us.” -Kaylin“When we live with that sense of enoughness, that belief that I am enough in terms of my intrinsic value, then we can leave room for growth. We can accept ourselves in the stage, in the process that we’re in and not expect perfection or think we’ll only be enough when we get to some...destination.” -Christy“Shame hides our intrinsic value from us.” -Kay
33 Eden Jersak: Knowing What You Need RESOURCESRivers From Eden- BookChildren Can You Hear Me? &amp; Jesus Showed Us! -Books1 Corinthians 13 New Testament David Bentley HartSHOW NOTES“We have to show our kids and the people around us that we value ourselves that we are showing them that we love ourselves, and this is how we’re caring for ourselves.” –Eden“If all they know is just someone pouring out on their behalf, then that’s all they know to do…but in the future when they have little ones that they’re meant to care for, all they know at that point is ‘Oh, mom does everything, right?’, and then we’re stuck in that same holding pattern of ‘not enough.’ It’s really, really important for us to be demonstrating for our kids how we value ourselves.” –Eden“This isn’t about being selfish, it’s about being self-aware and it’s an entirely different thing. When you are aware of what your needs are, you can move to having them met. You're not at the behest of someone else meeting those needs on a regular basis. You just know- this is what I need and so I know how to proceed to have that need filled.” –Eden“It’s really important to recognize what you need and then to take the steps needed to fulfill that. That doesn’t have to in any way negate your responsibilities to anyone. Everybody gets space, including you. And I think somehow we’ve discounted ourselves, and not given ourselves a place of value where we’ve treated everyone else the way we want to be treated, and we don’t treat ourselves that way. That’s a sad place to come to because if we actually want to thrive- as a woman, as a mom, as a human being- we have to be self-aware enough, and love ourselves enough to be able to meet our own needs.” –Eden“If we can be kind in our love for ourselves, if we can dispel envy and comparison to others, we are loving ourselves…And can we tolerate all things about ourselves. Can we take in our shadow side and all the bits and pieces that we’re not so thrilled about, but can we tolerate them in hope that they will become something better.” –Eden
32 Candy McVicar: The Five Love Languages' for Grieving Parents RESOURCESwww.candymcvicar.comHolding on to Love After you Lost a Baby -BookSHOW NOTES“If we looked at what it means to not grieve well, I would say it’s really trying to ignore it, and it’s a misnomer, you really can’t ignore it. It contends with you; it demands to be dealt with. Ignoring it – it ends up coming out in many sideways avenues. And so we find that people overeat, they over-shop, they’re out doing things that are destructive to themselves or to others. Even working out can turn. People can become a workout fiend. They’re trying to fix it or solve it through a focus and an intention on something not good. It can start off ok, but then it becomes obviously an unhealthy pattern and people end up having outlets. A lot of men look to porn or to extra marital affairs to just try to feel better, and have some sense of excitement or release- an ability to just live in a fantasy land and not face reality . So grieving well is the opposite of all that. Grieving well says I’m gonna look pain in the eyes and I’m going to address my hurt and acknowledge my feelings. I’m gonna validate my right to grieve and validate that my baby mattered. I am going to take back ownership and my right o process this and not do what the world tells me- to just get over it and move on. We don’t get over our babies. We don’t move on from them. We actually carry them in our hearts with us. And we process all of it and you need to allow yourself to feel the emotions. You need to allow yourself to think through and go through the memories...How do we do that in stages and little bits? Because its overwhelming just to say I’m gonna do it all right now. You can’t just do it quickly. This is something we do over time.” –Candy“You are not alone. Many people are feeling many similar feelings to you.” –Candy“We have to get it out of our brain, on paper, in video, somehow and recognize it from an external perspective.” –Candy“We missed out on a lifetime of opportunity, and the heritage of our child has been lost. They were our heritage. They were supposed to live on passed us. And now we live on and they don’t, they’re not here. So while you’re going through all of your celebrations in life, there’s always a tint of sadness in the grieving parents heart, because they’re very aware of the fact that they’re missing out on these life moments. And while they’ll still be able to hopefully celebrate with you as they heal and get stronger in their journey, it doesn’t negate the fact that they’re still sad at some of these situations. So for you to acknowledge is far better than your silence...If you have something comforting and of help and of support and some acknowledgement, it will always bring you closer to that friend.” –Candy“If there’s acknowledgement, it really is a healing salve to the heart of the grieving parent.” –Candy “There is incredible strain on marriages when there is infant loss. That is huge strain, and we need help. I can see how The 5 Love Languages is a valuable tool.” –Christy
31 Eden Jersak: Permission to Not Be Everything RESOURCESRivers from EdenSHOW NOTES“We especially as women feel like and express that we aren’t enough. What we’re actually feeling and saying is – we’re not everything. I would just like to give every person who feels overwhelmed with not being everything permission to not be everything.” –Eden“What we’re trying to do, or what I want us to be doing is to be giving each other permission to actually just do the things that we’re really good at, that we love, that make us tick. It’s really important in this to be aware of your essential self- who you are at the core. And to be aware of what you have to offer, so that you can offer that and you don’t get stuck in all the other stuff that people are expecting...you discover more things about yourself along the way.” –Eden“Take off all the labels that are attached to relationship, so: mom, auntie, grandma, sister, daughter, wife, partner, and even woman. Strip all of that away from your identity because those are just facets; those are just things that are peripheral really. And then take out anything that attaches you to a task or a job, a career, or a role, and just kind of remove that…push it to the outside because what we want to get is to the very core of us. And these kind of things –relationships and tasks and roles- those are kind of trappings in who we really are. And then take yourself down to this- ask yourself, what makes me tick?…There will be things that get in the way of you finding out what actually makes you tick… how do I line up with God best? And that’s how I found what made me tick.”“It’s important to be able to know that, to understand who you are and how you work and what you have to offer, so that when the world wants you to be more than you are actually able to offer, that you can just say ‘no’…and keep giving permission to those around you to do the same.” –Eden“People with ‘servant hearts’ can get lost in their ‘service,’ like that becomes their identity-‘I serve,’ when that’s something you do, but that’s not actually your identity.” –Eden“If it’s(serving) not coming from a place of a genuine self, then it’s probably going to end up being kind of toxic.” –Eden“As your kids listen to you not just saying, ‘yes’…to everything and everyone, they begin to decide and learn, ‘Oh, I don’t’ have to be everything, I just get to be myself and offer what I have’…we want to change ourselves, but we want to give that same permission to our kids too.” –Eden“I think our constant comparing ourselves to other people, and then feeling like, well if she can do that, then I must be able to do that as well, and I can’t just maybe do it like her, I have to somehow do it better, and comparison is this toxic recipe we use that either devalues the other person or ourselves…There’s way more value In dropping the comparison and just observing other people flourishing.” –Eden
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